If u love someone let them go?

Sometimes the best way to love someone is to let them go... True? Or is this just some overused phrase. Honestly, I don't buy it, but it seems like this phrase is peppered amongst so many contemporary love songs -- its almost overused.

Dawn taught me something about love when she called me crying her eyes out the other day. I have never heard someone cry so hard and so hurtfully on the phone before. It was heart wrenching. Part of me wanted to fly over to Melbourne to give her a hug, but part of me was afraid that the pain was too much for me to bear. I'm weak...

She said that when she first met sami (her classmate in her masters program), she knew she loved him -- but in time their relationship grew so perfect that she didn't dare to allow herself to really love him because she didn't want to destroy their perfect relationship. She loved him too much to let her feelings get the better of her. When I hear this, I think wow, how insanely big hearted. Learning to get over your love for someone so that the both of you can be happier.

One thing: how did she know they would be happier as friends?? She says so, so I'll take her word for it. I don't think I'll have the ability to do that, rather I've never felt that way before, so it was hard for me to kinda make belief the scenario. The bottom line was that she sorta taught me something about love -- is it that it's not about owning someone? I say this with a little bit of doubt as well, because I'm not entirely convinced.

How did she find it in her to muffle her feelings for sami? When he left to go back to Jordan, she felt lost and immensely sad, not at the lost of a lover, but at the lost of a very good friend. You should have heard her crying on the phone -- vulnerable and raw-- very unlike the Dawn I'm used to.

I admire that, and wonder if I am emotionally capable to feeling the way and acting the way she does. It just seems so out of this world. Or maybe because I haven't had much experience in this area... who am I to say?

I saw through Dawn's vulnerability, her need to be loved and to love, the depth of emotions for her friends. :) She's a good girl under that tough bimbo exterior and I can't wait to go visit her in Australia end of the year!

Hang in there sweetums! *love u*

Rick Price knows it best...

" My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her,
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine

But tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go"


DK said...

I think the reason why people say "if you love someone, let them go" is because there is no point holding them in the first place.

If she want to leave, you can't make her stay.
If she want to stay, you can't make her leave.

Anonymous said...

I wrote two posts last month about this... two separate ideals. Too long to post in your comment.

Learning to let go.

Leaving you is... loving you?

Anonymous said...

"If you love someone, let them go?" - don't you think it's just a comforting sentence? Or is there such thing as unconditional love? If there is, will I be appreciated?

eStee said...

dk: but u think its easy to let go?

et: Wah.. great minds think alike!

Winni: Do you think its just sour grape? Cannot get so let go! If not malu! *haha*

brian koh said...

i sympathise.

a friend whom i really liked had met someone knew and it really wrestled within my heart whether "there are things worth fighting for" or to just "leave it be"

and through it all, i realised that while my emotions told me that i liked her, she had found her happiness and whatever love i had for her as a close friend meant that she wasn't mine to love in that way, and she found it elsewhere.

there good thing is that she actually knows how i felt after, and i think it's also made us more mature as friends

Anonymous said...

as the inspiration for this post, I believe my exact words were, "I love him so much that I never want to fall in love with him. Ever." I'd never know if as everyone in the master's program speculations - how Sami and I would make the greatest couple - would have proven true but I know that I cannot guarantee that a BGR with him would have lasted. Actually, I can't guarantee if our friendship would last forever but given the priority that I give friendship in my life, I know it will outlast a BGR. And I think, being friends meant that we both learnt to love each other more deeply than in a normal BGR...he was my family in melbourne, and I, his...and I couldn't have asked for more. :)

p/s: estee, I love you too! oh..and if you read my latest blog entry, i wrote about it. i also expanded on the topic but that's for vv. haha.


saurabh said...

If u realy love someone set her free, if she comes back, she's urs, if she doesn't she never was!