Awake

Wide awake - must be the 3D show that has played tricks on my mind, despite my body needing a lot of rest. I've had 4 hours of sleep in 2 days, my body is tired, but my mind is active.

The past few weeks have really been insane. I've done things I never imagine I would or consider doing at all. It's as if releasing pressure from an intense pressure cooker, where the steam pushes out with much gusto. And as I attempt to put a plug on it, my left hand fights my right hand, and my body doesn't know how to take instructions any longer.

I feel liberated, and at times trapped as well. Someone mentioned to me last night that I'm an "uptight" person. And then despite being high on alcohol, I recollect bits and pieces here and there, but I distinctly remember agreeing profusely that indeed, I am a very uptight person.

Perhaps it's the first child syndrome, feeling I have to do everything right, get everything right and in order, and thus, I have always felt the need to be "perfect". A perfect daughter, a perfect friend, a perfect follower, a perfect student.

But along the way, I've learnt that trying to be perfect is one of my flaws. Because I overlook the things I've done right and come down hard on myself and magnify my flaws.

Perhaps its time to just keep calm, and carry on...