Good bye to u, good bye misery

To think a week ago, exact to this date, I felt as if my world was crumbling when I saw you. With her. With this girl I'd never thought you'd be with only because she was so unlike what I am, who I will ever become.

And now I week on, I now know so clearly that my heart for you has flatlined. Thoughts that used to be able your wellbeing, your health and work have now dwindled to sporadic images of you, which I easily sweep away. It has to be like this, and I know the worst is over.

Out of sight, out of mind, the best is when there is no more contact because I won't have a chance to waver. That's the best thing for me now.

As I rest my weary body on this comfy bed, I can't help but marvel at how much can change in a week. I'm glad I met her - saw her, then only, could I extinguish any glimmer of hope I had for you, now I hardly feel the pinch anymore. I feel almost somewhat free, liberated, flying. You belong with her, I think u both could very well be made for each other.

I started off being very bitter, angry at you for what you did to me, but as I reflect back, I hardly feel a stone in my throat anymore - I want to not harbour any ill feelings for you, I want to truly say that I've forgiven you, that I can raise my head high and say that I don't hold a grudge against you.

Yes it is difficult - I struggle to not harbour ill feelings towards you but somehow I think my heart has soften quick a bit and I'm on the path to forgiveness. I forgive you for making me cry, for making me feel small, for sacrificing all my time and energy on pleasing you, for making me loose sleep, for making me feel unworthy, for ever making me doubt my worth. I release the hurt of betrayal. I wish you the best because I wanna make the best I can out of my own life.

I just wanna be happy...

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