Planning is Futile

So this might just turn out to be just another self-loathing post, but somehow, the revelation of 2011, to date, has enabled me to arrive at but 1 conclusion.

Planning is Futile.

You know, as kids, how we are taught to plan plan plan, to think about the future and all that jazz? I remember when I was young, in primary school, the oh-so-familiar topic during composition writing was "What I want to be when I grow up".

It's such an adult thing to do, to get a child, barely 7 to think about the future, what they want to be, what they want to do. Even in university, I could hardly decide on what courses I wanted to take, much less on what I wanted to be when I "grew up".


It's uncanny, but reflecting back on my childhood, I remember telling people I wanted to be a washing machine only because it would evoke laughter, and throw off that serious subject. As if at that young age, I knew how judgmental other adults/people would be. (Yes, i was that smart a child). From experience, if I said that I wanted to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or anything to that effect, it would be met with nods of approval. But if I told them what I really knew, which was that I had no idea what I wanted to be and also, I really didn't care much about growing up -- I was a happy child, that would be met with an awkward silence, followed by an encouraging (yet pitiful) pat on my head, followed bu a quick change in conversation topic. Thus, my "washing machine" ambition normally evoked chain of guffaws, and it would be simply dismissed as a playful child who was too smart for her own good. This was good for me because mischievous children are always deemed smart. I liked that very much, being seen as smart yet non-committal to any profession at all.

We all have an inbuilt system of what Freud deemed as "Self Defence Mechanisms" since birth and I was exercising the right to mine. For Christ's sake, did you really know what you wanted to be at a tender age of 7? I was more concerned with playing with my Little Tikes toys or trying to peel of yesterday's Play Doh off my hands.

My point is that as I looked back on my life, I would NEVER have imagined I would be here today, who I am, what I am -- I guess things just panned out naturally and if you would have given me a million bucks then to bet that this would be the kind of life and person I'd be today, I wouldn't have accepted it for the world.

Life is way too unpredictable to PLAN.

I remember a quote "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." I don't know who came up with it, though I like the ring it has. Like one of those sentences that would fit so nicely in the chorus of a song...

Everything that I have "planned" for my life to date has NOT panned out. Perhaps I am a bad planner, but the most important things in life (my life at least) have been totally unplanned. And even if I attempted to, nothing has turned out as planned. The happiest moment were surprises, sad ones were just as surprising. Everything so far that has been monumental has been a total surprise.

Certain things totally unplanned for, which are the cornerstone of my life

- Having an awesomely supporting family
- Bodytype (genetic makeup)
- Personality
- True Friends
- Boyfriends (and breakups!)
- Country of Birth

No one knows what the future brings, but planning causes disappointments, especially if you plan big. Reach for the stars, so if you fall, you land on the moon? haha. Go on and deceive yourself. That's just another defense mechanism that protects you when you fail.

LIVE FOR THE MOMENT.

*Update: A friend read my tweet about planning being futile and replied with Proverbs 16:9, which says "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps."

PAIN keeps you ALIVE

As I browse through the many memories in my life... I always reminisce about the good and the bad.. and somehow, when I feel a bit sad it always helps to blog.

Many things have come and gone. Some have left a great impression, some have faded in the wind, but some seem to tug at the heartstrings ever so often -- leaving a sour taste in my mouth.

Meeting friends from yonder years have constantly reminded me of my very young days, my "past lives" as well as some of the greatest as well as worst moments of my youth... and it brings to sometimes reflect on what I am today; what I have become.

Truly, what I am today is a combination of many experiences. The tough and hurtful ones have taught me how to be strong, how to love self-sacrificially, how to challenge myself, how to stand up for my beliefs and how to pick myself up when I fall into a pool of glass bits.

The beautiful ones have shape me to be a better person, to know what I need, what makes me happy, who I really love and what to work towards.

There's perhaps nothing wrong with looking back into the past, but what's great about the past is that -- it precisely is the past. Dwelling in things that have whizzed by eons ago isn't going to earn me a living (or pay for my petrol bills, for that matter).

What matters is the present. The NOW. What I have, what I own, the things and people that surround my life. And for one thing I know, it's been nothing but a facelift, nothing but a triple fudge chocolate cake upgrade.

My good friends are doing well, my gfs are getting married, I have the most wonderful family, I have the bestest boyfriend in the universe, I like my job, I worship a LIVING GOD.

I'm going to smile myself to sleep tonight. Life is great :) -- just as it is.

What a mighty God I serve.

TOP 10 Reasons why you should NOT marry

So this is HILARIOUS. In the span of the last month, I have heard that like 5 friends are getting married. Yes they are my age - 23- and in my opinion, 23 is sooooooooo young, it's almost unimaginable.

I cannot imagine getting married now - NO - that's a scarey thought. I don't have the $$$, don't have the education (still stinking undergrad) and don't have the ability to plan for such a big day.

Sarah Ma, my ex JC classmate, I hear, has moved to Jacksonville, FLorida to be with her husband. And this kick-ass girl was the epitome of girl power back then, and the last person I'd imagine to fall into the temptation of walking down the red carpet in a gown!

No, don't be mistaken, I absolutely support the sanctity of marriage 100%, I think it's a beautiful commitment and act of love but 23 years old is a tad bit too young , No? Then again my mother got engaged to my dad at like 19, and by my age was already carrying around a big fat very ready to explode belly containing what we might consider to be a young human being.

23 years old and getting married. I'm scared. Scared because marriage is SOOOO far away, like at LEAST LEAST LEAST a couple of years or more and second, oh my god, that means you're OLD. OLD mature people get married, I think I'm just tooo childish to be able to call myself a wife. That freaks me OUT.

Is it just me, or is 23 really OK, assuming you've found the right person?

Nonetheless, for those of you who share my sentiments, here are the top 10 reasons why you should NOT get married, for now at least. But in a couple of years if you still are harbouring thoughts of singlehood, then you better hook up fast...


1. Think of all the debts you could pay off with that 10 GRAND you dropped on ONE DAY.

2. You will be too drunk to remember it, so all that time and planning goes to waste.

3. Everyone is secretly cursing your marriage and finding fault with your relationship, so why do you want to buy them an expensive meal and provide them with an open bar?

4. Your $2,000 wedding dress could feed an entire village of starving children, OR YOU COULD WEAR IT FOR ONE DAY.

5. That rock on your finger is evidence of bloodshed in the diamond mines.

6. Instead of a down payment on a home, you have a down payment on an article of clothing. Good luck raising your kids in between the white layers of taffeta.

7. Does the word “forever” mean anything to you? F O R E V E R! You're officially trapped.

8. Months, years, of planning are over in 8 hours or less.

9. No matter how much “product’ the salon puts in your hair, it will still fall by reception's end and you will look like Medusa rather than the put-together Mrs. Blank you wish to be.

10. You’ve been found guilty of creating a gift registry. It’s the social equivalent of being outed as a greedy, needy, brat. You’ve actually sent your friends and family on a “scavenger hunt” for your most wanted possessions… shouldn’t “the one,” be enough for you???

Courtesy of Oddcouple!