Divorcing my Husband 2 Elope With My Boyfriend

Dear Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband
1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall
performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry
applications that had operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other
valuable programs such as Romance 9.5 and Personal
Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs
such as EPL 5.0 and NBA 3.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House
Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried
running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
DESPERATE


TECHNICAL SUPPORT:

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an
entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an
operating system. Try entering the command C:\I
THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to
install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband
1.0 should then automatically run the applications
Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or
Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will
create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or
reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not
supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it
does have a limited memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly. You might consider additional
software to improve memory and performance. I
personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck,

TECHNICAL SUPPORT