Dawn taught me something about love when she called me crying her eyes out the other day. I have never heard someone cry so hard and so hurtfully on the phone before. It was heart wrenching. Part of me wanted to fly over to Melbourne to give her a hug, but part of me was afraid that the pain was too much for me to bear. I'm weak...
She said that when she first met sami (her classmate in her masters program), she knew she loved him -- but in time their relationship grew so perfect that she didn't dare to allow herself to really love him because she didn't want to destroy their perfect relationship. She loved him too much to let her feelings get the better of her. When I hear this, I think wow, how insanely big hearted. Learning to get over your love for someone so that the both of you can be happier.
One thing: how did she know they would be happier as friends?? She says so, so I'll take her word for it. I don't think I'll have the ability to do that, rather I've never felt that way before, so it was hard for me to kinda make belief the scenario. The bottom line was that she sorta taught me something about love -- is it that it's not about owning someone? I say this with a little bit of doubt as well, because I'm not entirely convinced.
How did she find it in her to muffle her feelings for sami? When he left to go back to Jordan, she felt lost and immensely sad, not at the lost of a lover, but at the lost of a very good friend. You should have heard her crying on the phone -- vulnerable and raw-- very unlike the Dawn I'm used to.
I admire that, and wonder if I am emotionally capable to feeling the way and acting the way she does. It just seems so out of this world. Or maybe because I haven't had much experience in this area... who am I to say?
I saw through Dawn's vulnerability, her need to be loved and to love, the depth of emotions for her friends. :) She's a good girl under that tough bimbo exterior and I can't wait to go visit her in Australia end of the year!
Hang in there sweetums! *love u*
Rick Price knows it best...
" My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her,
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
But tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go"