Quotes of a Tai Tai Wannabe

So I went out with my dearest Schmawnie today. My dear dear self professed drama mama, teen queen, tai tai wannabe girl friend. The one and ONLY Emelda Hilton, or so all her friends call her. Going out with her always cracks me up. Here are the top 15 crack ups of today. Seriously, life without good girl friends is no life at all.

Some of the things she says are very true, very down to earth and some are very unreasonable. Honestly, she is a B-i-a-t-c-h queen. But that's what makes her special to me :)

1) Estee, do you think I'm mutton masquerading as lamb?
(on the way down the escalator when she was talking about her looks)

2) A man's love can be compared to economics. Men like to decrease risk of their port folio by diversifying their investments - spread over many girlfriends..
(Dawn's take on men)

3) There is no such thing as free size. All free size should be changed to "Anorexic-sized". Free for "fat free" is it? Ridiculous! So small how to wear?
(on shopping for clothes in town)

4) There was once I stepped on a tree snake and killed it. I didn't see it so my metal stilettos squashed its head. Damn I had to throw away my shoes, so pissed off! Damn snake!
(Dawns remark when discussing with her on shoe shopping)

5) Why so many people have LV bags in Singapore now? The shop in Taka always has a long queue. Hate the people who carry it but cannot pull it off, so irritating..
(When chatting me me when she was doing her eyebrows)

6) Miss Teo, did you die inside?
(on waiting for me to come out of the fitting room)

7)There are some people who are damn poor but act damn rich. There are some people who are damn rich but act damn poor. One is my dad, he rich but wear clothes super lok-kok.
(on people who dress well but aren't wealthy)

8)Are you going to wait for me to be 6 feet under and pushing daisies?
(on impatience)

9) On my cigarette box, if the picture of men with cancer is ugly, I hurry take a black marker and colour over it
(on how she deals with the disgusting pics on her cigarette box. This was spun off because she cracked me up when she pasted her hello kitty stickers over the cancer pics of her pack of cigarettes)

10) Get out of my way, peons
(when rushing up the bus stop, late to catch her bus)

11) Does she expect me to attach my cell phone to my ear and walk everywhere with it all the time?
(on her mother being pissed at her for not picking up her phone -- did not hear it ring)

12) Females are all entitled to our "blonde" moments. I am born genetically blonde.
(on celebrating the once and a while foolishness)

13) She was the one who broke the vow of sisterhood first..
(on wrath towards another girl whom was hitting on her guy)

14) You're not pretty or hot, your attractive, and guys like you because you always dress like a doll, you're every guy's sick fantasy..
(on what she says her guy friend says about her)

15) Estee, when we open our boutique next time, let's call it PinkMakesTheBoysWink and our clothing line will be You'reMyDoll, cuz the customers are like our dolls - we dress them up!
(on our future fashion boutique together)

It's the insanely crazy things she says that makes me laugh. This crazy chilli padi obnoxious girl really has a firecracker personality. But that's what makes her uniquely Dawn.

P/s:Dawn, if you're reading this, we can wring all your tears off your pillow, evaporate it, save the salt and plonk them in Glen's soup. We'll kill his kidneys from salt overdose. He doesn't deserve you!