Why do Women Want to Change Their Men? Stand your Ground!

Do women really want to change their man? Is it encoded in their DNA? Why do women have the need to change men? Is it instinctual? Can't they leave men alone to be themselves?

This question came to mind after having dinner with a group of friends. It was a real good time but as the next dish came, lo and behold, eggplant. Ewwww.... yes eggplant. Now who the hell likes eggplant? Which kind of vegetable is named after an object that is passed through the same crackhole as chicken shit?

And so the conversation goes as such:

Friend A: Why don't you have the tempura eggplant?
Guy X: I don't like eggplant...
Guy X's girlfriend: He likes eggplant!

At this point of time, all of us snigger...

Me: So do you like eggplant or not?
Guy X: *Silence*

Guy X leaves a while with his gf to send her off early while the rest of us wait in the restaurant..

Friend A: So does he like eggplant or not?
Me: I don't think so...
Friend B: Why do women always want to change their men?
Me: For Christs' sake, it's not about changing him. It's just eggplant, so trivial. why would it matter if he didn't like eggplant? What's there to change?
Friend A: There is something women wanting to change a man. Like its sort of some kind of challenge, let's see if I can change this part about him or not... whether or not it matter, she will always want to change him, it's just the way it is...

I roll my eyes, no that is soooo not true... OR IS IT??? (by the way this couple is real sweet, I don't mean any harm by blogging about it. They are one of the sweetest couples around!)

Then I googled for an article on the top 6 things women want to change about their men... True or false? You decide!

1. How you dress

First, consider the following: Do you think black matches with navy? Do you think it's acceptable to wear the same shirt three days in a row? If you genuinely believe that you have a good sense of style (and this has been confirmed by other people), then by all means stand your ground on your wardrobe.

How to stand your ground: Avoid going shopping with her to keep her input on your purchases to a minimum. If she buys you gifts of clothing, you have no choice but to say thank you, smile and nod. Having said that, you can give your input in a more subtle way; for example, you can compliment her choice of a tie while subtly suggesting that you might prefer another color.

2. What you eat

If she is trying to steer you away from red meat and French fries, she really does have your best interests at heart. And if she is the one in charge of the cooking, you might have to live with some of her dietary guidelines.

How to stand your ground: If you want to have your way when it comes to your diet, you have to become more involved with the grocery shopping and cooking. You can suggest that you have a craving for a certain thing or that you loved a certain dish she made for you in order to nudge her in your direction.

Ultimately, though, how you eat is your decision, so when you are on your own (doing the cooking or eating out), you are free to make your own dietary decisions. Just don't go home and confess to them.

Does she hate your friends, your hobbies, your habits, and your love of porn? Find out what to do.

3. Your friends

Does she encourage you to hang out with your married friends and steer you away from your bachelor friends? It's not uncommon for a woman to feel uncomfortable when you go out with your bachelor buddies for fear that they might influence you or con you into being their wingman.

How to stand your ground: If you notice she is trying to steer you away from some of your good buddies, discuss the issue right way. In a calm manner, make her understand that you intend to remain close to your friends, even though she might not like them.

Try to point out your best buddy's better qualities so she'll understand why you keep him around. For example, don't mention his ability to drink like a fish; rather, emphasize his generosity and kind heart. You can even invite your buddy and your girlfriend on an activity that they will both enjoy to get them to bond.

4. Your hobbies
She might want the two of you to share similar hobbies, but this doesn't mean that you have to give up everything you formerly loved.

How to stand your ground: Make sure that you spend enough time with her and try to find an activity that you both enjoy. This way, when you want to go watch the game without her, she won't feel neglected.

5. Your bad habits
If you are seriously addicted to smoking, drinking or drugs, then you may want to consider yielding to her nagging for your own good. However, if she objects to a night out with the guys, it's time to stand your ground.

How to stand your ground: If she nags you constantly about your bad habits, then feel free to do the same to her. Keep it light and do it in a joking manner, but do mention her overzealousness when it comes to eating cake or her addiction to sun-tanning.

Meanwhile, try to continue on with your bad habits as usual without bringing them to her attention. If she continues to nag you, then confront her head on about it. Ultimately, no amount of nagging will help you change a bad habit - it has to come from you!

6. Your love of porn and/or strip clubs
She may try to steer you away from any naked woman other than herself; you'll have to work her through her anxiety about it.

How to stand your ground: Discuss the issue early on and make her understand that the occasional bachelor party at a strip club does not pose a threat to her or your relationship.

You might even want to get her involved by asking her along to a classy strip club (a rundown establishment will not help your cause). This way, she'll see that there is no risk that you'll actually cheat on her with one of the women.

Despite her best intentions, as you know after reading the above, you are certainly not obligated to go along with her desired changes. So put the advice above into practice and you'll be able to withstand her changing ways and keep your personality intact.

Bottomline: Have I made you men CHANGE your mind about women? :)

Read more about Why Women Need To Change Men at DateDaily.com


Anonymous said...

Women wanna rule the world. Period.

brian koh said...

Eggplants / aubergines are ACE! no girl or woman will detract me from my love for the purple vegetable

Anonymous said...

All I read is you have to stand your ground by doing this or that. Why not just ask women to not do this or that to try to change us?

We certainly don't feel the need to change our women. The reason why we fall in love with that special 'she' is because of who she is.

Let us men be. The world is already screwed up as it is today with men not being manly enough, and women wanting to replace men with stupid excuses like 'we have been oppressed long enough'. Well, if women have been oppressed long enough, just go enjoy the freedom and don't come oppressing men.

What happened to the John Wayne man? The one who just is his own man, and doesn't live under the shadow of a woman trying to make him switch from, say, Levi's to Wranglers or whatever.

eStee said...

Crispy fried: Yes women not only want to rule they world, they want to take over the universe!

Brian: I love my greens too! That makes 2 of us!

Sicarii: seems like you're one angsty man. I assume from prior bad experience. Ok fine - for all the women who have attempted to change you, yea, I'm SORRY :) Forgiven?

Jayson Ang said...

your this post,
inspires me to write another post.
will let you know when i'm done.

Giorgos said...

everyone's looking for their other half, so it follows that my other half should like what I like :D

anyhow, just kidding, nice post, keep it up... though I think that men are just as guilty of trying to change women

eStee said...

jason ang: Yes pls let me know when u post it!

Giorgos: haha thanks so much for admitting then men want to change women too! Cheers to you!

Anonymous said...

Women should just KNOW their place in Society (^_^) especially estee :p

Anonymous said...

No, I am not some angry man because of past experience, but because of what male friends tell me, and what I know to be quite true today.

Neither am I some misogynistic male egoist.

I am putting things down as they are -- that today men aren't standing up for themselves. Equal rights for men and women doesn't mean women having more rights than men.

It simply means equal rights for both sexes, but I don't hear or observe that.

eStee said...

Adrian: u asking for it *bish*

Sicarii: Yea I believe in equal rights in some ways... but then in other ways men must give way to women! After all we will mother your freaking child! Imagine carrying a watermelon for 9 months then squeezing that freaking melon out of something the size of a lemon! Wah kao.. u better be grateful man!

Anonymous said...

LOL, I am not having kids. :)

But there are other things to appreciate one's girlfriend/wife for other things, e.g. their love, concern, etc.

Doesn't necessarily have to be labor and childbirth. Else men here easily turn around and say I belong to the organization (SAF) that lets you sleep soundly at night. :-P

eStee said...

sicarii: how can u not want kids??? Gosh they are so cute! Like ball, can throw around... hee!

Jayson Ang said...

here's a email forward that i coincidentely received after reading this post ...


Men and women on earth die and go to heaven.

God comes and says :-

"I want the men to form two queues, one line for the men who had control over their women, and the other one for the men who were
controlled by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away so
that no man and woman can talk."

Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines.
The line for the men who were controlled by their women is 100 miles long, and in the line of men who had control over their women there is only one man.

God gets mad and says, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all controlled by your mates.

Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!"

"Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replies, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

Cheers !

Anonymous said...

I worry for your kids, Estee, lol!

Anonymous said...

You are looking for a programmable robot not a man.

The man who love you deeply will be deeply hurt if you treat him like a slave to your bidding.

You can help him to change his bad habits but you have to respect his preference. If you love onions, you dont force your friends to eat them; lest your man

Ephesians 5

21Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

eStee said...

FBS: thanks for putting things into perspective! When all things fail, always look to the bible!

Anonymous said...

Okay.... I can understand men needing to say what they like and dislike, women have to do the same with men. But if you are addicted to porn and going to see other naked women other than your wife, you need some help. That is called cheating and if she leaves you for it, she deserves a freaking mansion. If a girl goes to a guy strip club, the same applies, the guy should leave. Jesus people, I am only 19 years old and I know this. Learn to grow up and actually appreciate what you have, dang people.

Anonymous said...

Women have no business changing men. If they do not like them as they are they should not marry them. Period. Being a narcissistic control freak who expects everyone to serve one's needs isn't love, it is co-dependency and manipulation. Men want to be accepted for who they are or left alone. Nobody wants to be barked at all day. It is a waste of time. There is nothing enjoyable about listening to some naggy bitch complain about her man. She should have found someone else. If a man did that to a woman, people would recognize it for what it is: chauvinistic, controlling manipulation, verbal abuse, perfectionism, psychological warfare. The same standards should apply to women, whatever it's about. If he isn't your type, don't date him. But my guess is that these verbally abusive control freaks think they are 'the bomb' and are owed something and need to 'lower others' to make themselves feel superior and can't leave...it is not about love. And men shouldn't get mad at the women who leave them or refuse marriage or dates with them if they know it won't work. A woman has a right to ask out a man she wants to be with and a right to refuse a man who isn't right. That is what intelligent women do.

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