Do women really want to change their man? Is it encoded in their DNA? Why do women have the need to change men? Is it instinctual? Can't they leave men alone to be themselves?
This question came to mind after having dinner with a group of friends. It was a real good time but as the next dish came, lo and behold, eggplant. Ewwww.... yes eggplant. Now who the hell likes eggplant? Which kind of vegetable is named after an object that is passed through the same crackhole as chicken shit?
And so the conversation goes as such:
Friend A: Why don't you have the tempura eggplant?
Guy X: I don't like eggplant...
Guy X's girlfriend: He likes eggplant!
At this point of time, all of us snigger...
Me: So do you like eggplant or not?
Guy X: *Silence*
Guy X leaves a while with his gf to send her off early while the rest of us wait in the restaurant..
Friend A: So does he like eggplant or not?
Me: I don't think so...
Friend B: Why do women always want to change their men?
Me: For Christs' sake, it's not about changing him. It's just eggplant, so trivial. why would it matter if he didn't like eggplant? What's there to change?
Friend A: There is something women wanting to change a man. Like its sort of some kind of challenge, let's see if I can change this part about him or not... whether or not it matter, she will always want to change him, it's just the way it is...
I roll my eyes, no that is soooo not true... OR IS IT??? (by the way this couple is real sweet, I don't mean any harm by blogging about it. They are one of the sweetest couples around!)
Then I googled for an article on the top 6 things women want to change about their men... True or false? You decide!
1. How you dressFirst, consider the following: Do you think black matches with navy? Do you think it's acceptable to wear the same shirt three days in a row? If you genuinely believe that you have a good sense of style (and this has been confirmed by other people), then by all means stand your ground on your wardrobe.
How to stand your ground: Avoid going shopping with her to keep her input on your purchases to a minimum. If she buys you gifts of clothing, you have no choice but to say thank you, smile and nod. Having said that, you can give your input in a more subtle way; for example, you can compliment her choice of a tie while subtly suggesting that you might prefer another color.
2. What you eatIf she is trying to steer you away from red meat and French fries, she really does have your best interests at heart. And if she is the one in charge of the cooking, you might have to live with some of her dietary guidelines.
How to stand your ground: If you want to have your way when it comes to your diet, you have to become more involved with the grocery shopping and cooking. You can suggest that you have a craving for a certain thing or that you loved a certain dish she made for you in order to nudge her in your direction.
Ultimately, though, how you eat is your decision, so when you are on your own (doing the cooking or eating out), you are free to make your own dietary decisions. Just don't go home and confess to them.
Does she hate your friends, your hobbies, your habits, and your love of porn? Find out what to do.
3. Your friendsDoes she encourage you to hang out with your married friends and steer you away from your bachelor friends? It's not uncommon for a woman to feel uncomfortable when you go out with your bachelor buddies for fear that they might influence you or con you into being their wingman.
How to stand your ground: If you notice she is trying to steer you away from some of your good buddies, discuss the issue right way. In a calm manner, make her understand that you intend to remain close to your friends, even though she might not like them.
Try to point out your best buddy's better qualities so she'll understand why you keep him around. For example, don't mention his ability to drink like a fish; rather, emphasize his generosity and kind heart. You can even invite your buddy and your girlfriend on an activity that they will both enjoy to get them to bond.
4. Your hobbies
She might want the two of you to share similar hobbies, but this doesn't mean that you have to give up everything you formerly loved.
How to stand your ground: Make sure that you spend enough time with her and try to find an activity that you both enjoy. This way, when you want to go watch the game without her, she won't feel neglected.
5. Your bad habits
If you are seriously addicted to smoking, drinking or drugs, then you may want to consider yielding to her nagging for your own good. However, if she objects to a night out with the guys, it's time to stand your ground.
How to stand your ground: If she nags you constantly about your bad habits, then feel free to do the same to her. Keep it light and do it in a joking manner, but do mention her overzealousness when it comes to eating cake or her addiction to sun-tanning.
Meanwhile, try to continue on with your bad habits as usual without bringing them to her attention. If she continues to nag you, then confront her head on about it. Ultimately, no amount of nagging will help you change a bad habit - it has to come from you!
6. Your love of porn and/or strip clubs
She may try to steer you away from any naked woman other than herself; you'll have to work her through her anxiety about it.
How to stand your ground: Discuss the issue early on and make her understand that the occasional bachelor party at a strip club does not pose a threat to her or your relationship.
You might even want to get her involved by asking her along to a classy strip club (a rundown establishment will not help your cause). This way, she'll see that there is no risk that you'll actually cheat on her with one of the women.
Despite her best intentions, as you know after reading the above, you are certainly not obligated to go along with her desired changes. So put the advice above into practice and you'll be able to withstand her changing ways and keep your personality intact.
Bottomline: Have I made you men CHANGE your mind about women? :)
Read more about Why Women Need To Change Men at DateDaily.com