When do you have the license to "cheat"? When will it be considered OK? When will you be given the green light? When does the world give you a pat on the back for cheating?
Mom and dad were fetching me back from giving tuition today when we suddenly talked about Uncle John and the late Auntie Gracie.
They were my parents' friends from long time back since I was born and I remember fondly receiving birthday gifts and card all the way from Canada without fail each year. Auntie Gracie would never miss a birthday or anniversary, as if it was ingrained in her very DNA to be the person to bring forth joy to the world by never missing a special day. I remember wondering how she was capable of doing so. She had so many friends, who were friends of ours as well and it was as if she had a calendar in front of her where all she did all day was look out for special occasions. She much have had a kinokuniya-load worth of greeting cards for every occasion, I swear!
So what happens is that, a couple of years ago, Auntie Gracie succumbed to cancer and we were all really sad at the loss of a confidante. However, the most devastated was Uncle John. I remember at the funeral, he was sobbing away silently, sad at the loss of a wife, but sadder at the loss of a friend. I remember feeling so much grief, not so much because I would miss her, but more so that the prospect of having to look at Uncle John so sad. Mum and Dad were really upset too, because our families used to be so tight although we were half the world apart...
The topic came up today that uncle John had remarried to some new someone (whom I have no idea who she is and where she comes from). And to some people who called themselves his friends, they found that puzzling, how can someone "remarry" just like that, so quickly, to someone completely foreign, it really doesn't make sense.
But in the car, as I was listening in on the conversation, I felt angry, and frustrated. Angry that people could judge him, frustrated for the lack of compassion from people around. So this is not the first case. Uncle PH, Uncle George, Uncle Winston all loved their wives immensely, but at their passing, soon after, quickly remarried to someone new.
And what the hell is wrong with that? They had loved their wives so much when she was aive, they were totally committed to her and why is it wrong to remarry when she is gone? That doesn't constitute cheating, does it? I mean, seriously, should a man be "punished to be alone" all for the rest of his life just because his wife has left for a better place before him?
Is it wrong to want to find love, afterall men do get lonely, don't they. They still are human! It's not like he was cheating on her or considering thoughts of remarrying when she was alive! These men were completely, wholeheartedly faithful, so who are these people to come by and say that he "didn't love her enough, that's why he remarried"?
How foolish can these ignorant people be? I get more angry as I think about it, these judgmental fools...
For this I say, if your better half is gone, you have more than a license to cheat, so go on, brother!