Most Bimbotic Miss Teen USA - Abso-freaking-lutely funny!

Most Bimbotic Miss Teen USA



This Miss South Carolina really redefines the meaning of Bimbotic. I think there should really be a stringent pre-screening round for Miss Teen USAs. This missy puts the state (and country) to shame. No use for barbie dolls to be on stage when they have Boobs but not Brains...

I think if she just said "World Peace" and walked off stage, that would have been so much more appropriate, than rambling on and on about... gods knows what!?!

German Sausages are >6 inches long = YUM

Gerard, my NOC mate brought me to Werner's Over last night for German sausages... Man are they HUGE. I swear they were longer than 6 inches, and sooo thick! I had cheese stuffed sausage, saucekraut, pickles and salad. Yum Yum. He had meatloaf, which to me, looked like french toast.

We've been to crazy places, I think first was western, then viet and now German! I wonder where next! It's really cool going with friends to try out new cuisines. I want to try Filipino food now - its one I haven't really had!


It is a pretty quaint and small place, a family run business, the people are friendly and what I love best is the bakery at the back. They serve fresh breads baked daily, plus apple tarts, raspberry pies as well as muffins of all sorts!
The food was good - Werner's Oven has been reviewed by time out and given the thumbs up. I think what I like about it is the reasonable prices pls the unpretentious atmosphere. They served fresh soft pretzels on wooden racks on the table and everything just looks really good.

Also, he dabao-ed me like 4 whole slices of cream cheese brownies, from The Baker's Story. It's been featured on STOMP and Yum.sg, but I've never heard of it before. Nonetheless, it was really good to eat. YUM. Small quaint places like these should be celebrated!

On a heavier note, we went to send Ram off at the airport. He is also a fellow NOC batch mate. I think I'll miss him a lot. He is going to Germany - for 6 months or more! I sure will miss him. It was sad, at the airport, seeing good friends leave. This week alone, I've been to the airport 3 times to send friends off. It's really sad - how I will miss my friends.

Marriage Proposal - What NOT to do

One of my best friends sent me this picture... Cracked me up so bad. The mistakes men make.. unnknowingly. Don't you just long to hate them and hate to love them?

Any one of you guys keen to know the mind of a rich girl? You see, this girlfriend of mine is very wealthy, which may or may not be a good thing. We think so much of riches, blablabla, but they have their own set of problems too.

1) The inability to attract good but less wealthy guys... (are these guys intimidated by her high lifestyle?)

2) People have the mis-impression that riches equals show off...

To know the mind of a rich girl, to know her pains and to know what she is really thinking, about when love means and is, you'll find that truly, she is down to earth...

Click here to read her blog about it. Also, read all about feminism here and why you should NOT make a woman cry

“Be careful if you make a woman cry, for God counts every one of her tears.

A woman was made from one of Man’s ribs: not from his feet to be stepped on; not from his head to be superior but under his arm to be protected and next to his heart to be loved.”

PING on BlogBuzz.tv (Starring dk, rinaz, arzhou, Uzyn)

As I said before, Blogbuzz.tv is an online tv channel
As you can see, we're trying to make the "P-I-N-G" word here! Failing quite badly, but it's a start.



As you can see, we're having loads of fun!!



Questions asked were like : How was ping founded? How is the culture like? How do you attract and retain member?



I also asked Uzyn what his vision for Ping.sg was!



Anyways, first episode is here, the rest I'll upload in time! This first episode is of Brennan (The Digital Terrosist)! Watchout for Ping's episode, in the pipeline, Menwhile you can catch the rest @ www.blogbuzz.tv

Pic after & before flash - WHY you should use flash!

Just so you know, i prefer no flash. I prefer flash in the flesh. Sexy action hero. I'm going to mentally undress him now... OK I'm kidding. But talking about flash, Macdonalds has totally ruined the image i have of flash. Their mascot for the flash fried chicken turns me off.

Waves crash at my tired feet, Wash me away

I walk down the sandy beach - foot prints on the sand
I walk alone, no one to hold my hand
I lie down on the golden beach - sand adorn my body
The swash and the backwash, whispering softly to me

Waves crash at my tired feet - wash me away
And I ruminate the happenings of the day
Indeed everything comes in waves, the big and the small
But in the end one man controls it all

My mind swirls and spirals - confusion the theme of the game
Why do things come in waves, the timid and the tame
The waters wash against my feet, the salt bites my skin
Pain tells me that I'm still alive, without and within

The water rises the water falls - wave after wave
This never ending story of which girl the hero will save
But why do things come in waves, I still don't understand
If there is a struggle of pink and red, who will this hero defend

Why do things come and go - one moment and the next
One minute it's just beautiful, the next my gravest mistake
When the soil is dry and crumbly, it falls apart in my hand
But when the rains arrive, they drown out all the entire land

Where is mother moderation, where have you been hiding
You've been away too long, you need to bring good tiding
Everything just hits in waves, on and on and on
One minute you're standing there, the next you are gone

The waters wash up against my side - brings me back to now
So many pending questions, the where, what, why, and how
Things indeed do come in waves, they completely do
Friends, problems, tears and smiles, even boyfriends too

When the land is barren, it is completely dry
But once it starts to drizzle, heaven starts to cry
It pours down so hard and fast, my stomach starts to turn
The roll bigger and bigger, the waves begin to churn

The sky breaks forth water - big fat drops of tears
Come now, pour down, wash away the fears
Then as suddenly as it begun, it completely stops
As if God soaked had up all the water with his magic mops

Everything under the sky - they all come in waves
Whether you have freedom, you really still a buncha slaves
Things come and go in time, nothing lasts forever
When a good thing comes, take it - tarry, never

I walk down the sandy beach - foot prints on the sand
I walk alone, no one to hold my hand
I lie down on the golden beach - sand adorn my body
The swash and the backwash, whispering softly to me

By 9eek9oddess
22/8/07

FREAKED OUT BEYOND BELIEF! don't ask why

This shot freaked me out beyond belief... I won't comment much about it because it hurts to do so, but also because I'm still in a daze. Don't ask why but such things are NOT supposed to happen. No they are NOT supposed to happen, not in reality. Or is it just me? How can this be?

Isn't it supposed to be awkward? WHat do they have in common?... well, yea save for that...

HOKAY... I don't even want to think about it, really...

CitiBank Clear Card -Advertorial-

Ever been to a restaurant and end up more embarrassed than ever?



Maybe you don't relate to it, but ever found yourself in such a situation?

You're on a hot date with a girl you really like, and when it's time to foot the bill for dinner, you valiantly whip up your debit card and hand it over to the waiter..

"Excuse me sir, we only accept credit..."
"It's OK, I'll pick it up, no worries.." (the girl says)

*at this point, you want to dig a hole in the ground*



Or maybe you want to book tickets for a show that's just about to open - it's a hot show but you don't have a credit card!!! So you can't book! You have to go down hours before to ensure you get tickets, on many occasions, the best seats have already been taken up by the ones using online booking! *ahhhhhhhh*

Sounds familiar? Solution? Citibank Clear Credit Card!

Indeed, a credit card is a convenient payment tool – use it to pay bills online, book tickets for the movies or theatre.

"But I haven't started working yet! Don't you need a minimum income to apply for a credit card?"

NOPE! Application requirements for the Citibank Clear credit Card are as follows:

- There is no minimum income requirement and this mean that...
1. Tertiary students can apply
2. Working adults can apply (no minimum income, but applicant should still be employed)
3. Minimum age requirement is 21 years old (for non-students)
4. Students above 18 years can apply, but they need parental/guardian consent


What do you stand to gain?
Features, Privileges of card
1. Discounts and Privileges at over 600 merchant locations

- Citibank gourmet pleasures programme lets you savour the best in culinary variety, and gives you discounts at over a hundred establishments islandwide.
- Citibank world privileges avails local deals to you when you travel overseas. Enjoy savings and benefits at restaurants, gold courses, hotels and more.
- 1-for-1 drinks at Velvet Underground and Winebar
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- Coolest payment mode.
- Drop by clubs and cafes without bringing wallet
- Fast way to pay with your finger

3. Full features of credit card such as
- Online shopping
- Can spend overseas
- Rewards program

How do I save myself from embarrassing "dinner situations" next time?
This card is easy to apply, just log on to submit details then follow up with a signed copy of form and supporting documents. Process takes less than 5 minutes.



What happens if I lose my card? What if I overspend?
Safeguards and Measures
1. Card is automatically blocked once cardmember misses his/her payment
2. Credit limit is capped at $500, credit line is manageable (Compared with debit cards which avail cardmembers to their entire deposit or to amounts several times that of $500, or supplementary cards which avail the entire principal cardmember’s line of credit_
3. Low credit limit makes this a controlled way for young adults to start to learn and use credit in a responsible manner
4. ‘Use credit wisely’ tips that serve as a useful guide for those who are new to credit

Last tip: When dating someone, please be tactful, if you can afford to foot the bill, that's nice. But it's not neccessary (to win girl's heart).. I won't be able to help if you make a boo boo like this!

Hot Babes @ PINK Charity Party - 1 Rochester

Over the weekend, my fellow RGS and ACJC alumni Lynnette Ooi, together with Diona Tong held a charity party to raise funds for the Singapore Children's Society. The aim was to raise $12k for the organization. What better way to do so than have friends and family attend a large charity chill out party @ One Rochester... Almost 250 over people attended and media was there to attend the event.

It was an awesome time catching up with family and friends. And what more, a noble cause!

Here are snippets of the event!


























So it's all for a good cause! Hurrah to a successful event. It's events like this where I get to meet up with my my girlfriends. It was just awesome catching up with them - old friends, sitting over a good sangria, having the time of our lives.. It was also awesome introducing my guy friends to the rest of my buddies, and everyone got along so well!!! :)

I haven't had a lot of fun in such a long time... Cheers to a well done Pink Charity Party!

Brennan is 4 INCHES long -I have proof-

I have proof that Brennan is 6 inches long.. And so do the many people who went to Wala Wala for the Chill out session I organised a couple of days ago! I was awesome, what a great turn out - 25 people!

So The lead singer Shirlyn Tan from the band The Unexpected band invited him on stage.. isnce our dear boy is going into army to pay his debt to the nation, his national obligation... :) Thanks to Brennan for making us safer when we're going to sleep! But really, Brennan thanks for being such a sport, damncing on stage, gyrating your hips and making us all crack up!!!

If you watch this clip and listen to the song that Shirlyn Tan is singing, you will notice that the lyrics go something like this:

At first I was afraid I wAas petrified,
Just thinking Brennan told me he had a 10 inch
So there you are, another lad
I was looking for a big mac but he brought me a french fry
I should have known that it was bullshit
Just alphabetic dream
There ain't know anaconda would be lurking in those jeans
Oh now go, walk out that door
Don't you promise me 10 inches and turn up with only 4
Weren't you hoping that I couldnt catch you out
Don't you think we're only joking when we say size doesn't count?

I will survive, ooh, Just as long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive
I got all my love to live, I got all my love to give
I will survive, I will survive, yeaaa..

It took all my self control, just not to laugh out loud
When I saw your little weaner standing tall and proud,
But to hell with all your ego and to hell with all your needs
Now I'm saving all my lovin for a cordless multi speed
SO now go, you'd better leave
The last time I saw a dicky that small, was on my brother he was 3
Should have asked for confirmation, should have asked for referee
And I wonder have you been waving your wee winky thing at me

So now go, just leave your tracks
Don't you bring me home an NS boy, Cuz you know I'll throw him back
The only thing I could do with a winky that small as yours
Is stick it on a tooth pick and dip it in chill sauce

I will survive, ooh, Just as long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive
I got all my love to live, I got all my love to give
I will survive, I will survive, yeaaa..

Hope are some photos from the event! Enjoy!

The Chinese say "Beat is care, Scold is love" - TRUE or NOT?

The Chinese have the saying, "Da si teng, ma si ai"... translated to "Beating someone is to care for someone and scolding someone is an expression of love..."

I've been thinking - how true is this statement? Is it just some old fart coming up with it and then making it "Fact" and using it as an excuse to use and abuse?

What do you think?

I Need You..

I recently met a friend who was in an abusive relationship but couldn't bear to walk out. I know it isn't easy but my dear things don't change. Start loving yourself...

I always thought I needed you but now I know I'm wrong
With or without you, I know I can still be strong
I thought I'd die if you ever walked away
But just to let you know boy, I'm loving everyday
One moment I was special, the next I wasn't there
Now I don't give a hoot, whether or not you care
I'll walk down my own path, I'm better off alone
For the ways you treated me, you'd had better go atone
I've found back my skip in my step, that song in my throat
You can jolly well go off and rock someone else's boat
I don't care if you don't care, I don't care if you do
I haven't got the time, really - really thank you
Don't be surprised if I ask you to walk away
I'd rather do without you, today or any other day
You thought I'd hang on, something like a leech
Think it's time you moved on to some other bitch
You used to be my hero, the only thing I saw
But now all you are is a huge unmotivated bore
I can't believe you meant that much, I must have been blind
To have fallen so hard for something of your kind
Your rules and laws I worshiped but that's just history
Good bye to you, I've found my right to be free...

A TV Channel ONLY for Bloggers! Be a STAR!

Blogs are a great way to express our feelings and can also be a personal space for us to emote. In today’s stressful and fast paced society, the hussle an bussle of everyday life can drown out your voice. There are a hundred and one avenues by which we can express our individuality - be it that fancy new cell phone or that new fashion accessory, an individual constantly screams to be heard or seen… WAIT! Now individuals are also screaming to be read too!

Famous bloggers such as Wendy Cheng, Mr Brown, Mr Miyagi, Steven Lim and Dawn Yang all have their personal blogsites by which they “bitch” on. These famous bloggers have chalked up a decent readership, with Wendy Cheng, Singapore’s top blogger averaging about 20 000 unique hits a day. With the event and the rise of famous bloggers as such, the “smaller time bloggers” – for the lack of a better word - are sometimes drowned out by the crowd. If you’re one of them, this is your chance to not only be read, but seen!

BlogBuzz.tv is a new online channel, the brain child of producer, Todd Murray and his passionate team at Activechannel.tv. BlogBuzz.tv is one of the many channels they aim to be airing online and believe that it is an excellent way to reach out to youths, other bloggers as well as the more tech-savvy crowd. Afterall, this is but the beginning of the digital age… we’ve only truly just begun!

BlogBuzz.tv is an online television channel that launched less than a month ago and is averaging about 200 unique hits a day (and growing!)! BlogBuzz.tv seeks to give these smaller and less influential bloggers a voice. Estee Teo, who goes by the alias of 9eek9oddess, a smalltime bloggers herself (and a PROUD member of The Digital Movement), hosts this show and her aim is to not only bring the latest news in the blogosphere to the masses, but also to highlight the achievements of “bloggers in the heartland” and help to unearth what’s hot and what’s -- NOT. Each episode lasts for 3-5 minutes and is an interview session with an individual blogger or representative of a blogging organization. It is not meant to be a information brain draining, power packed cerebral work out session, but more of a casual chit chat with the interviewee – somewhat a short conversation over coffee; the setting is casual and informal. (beach gear allowed, if you dare J)

So far, 7 episodes have been recorded, but only 3 are on air to date. Those interviewed so far are U-zyn (founder of ping.sg), the ping.sg community, a baker who blogs (or blogger who bakes) about his recipes and produce, a 16 year old spanking new blogger who survived a stroke, 3 suicide attempts and started up his own motivational company, an entrepreneur and public speaking coach, The Digital Terrorist, Singapore’s representative of Global Voices (global blogging platform) and a mainlnd Chinese blogger.

For those who are bloggers and want to be heard, or for organizations and companies who use blogs innovatively to spead their message, or even if you know a good blogger who is shy to be hear (but should!) please ping Estee @ estee@thedigitalmovement.org to schedule a slot!

Triple woooot to social media! This is your chance to SSCCRREEAAAMMM!

Why do Women Want to Change Their Men? Stand your Ground!

Do women really want to change their man? Is it encoded in their DNA? Why do women have the need to change men? Is it instinctual? Can't they leave men alone to be themselves?

This question came to mind after having dinner with a group of friends. It was a real good time but as the next dish came, lo and behold, eggplant. Ewwww.... yes eggplant. Now who the hell likes eggplant? Which kind of vegetable is named after an object that is passed through the same crackhole as chicken shit?

And so the conversation goes as such:

Friend A: Why don't you have the tempura eggplant?
Guy X: I don't like eggplant...
Guy X's girlfriend: He likes eggplant!

At this point of time, all of us snigger...

Me: So do you like eggplant or not?
Guy X: *Silence*

Guy X leaves a while with his gf to send her off early while the rest of us wait in the restaurant..

Friend A: So does he like eggplant or not?
Me: I don't think so...
Friend B: Why do women always want to change their men?
Me: For Christs' sake, it's not about changing him. It's just eggplant, so trivial. why would it matter if he didn't like eggplant? What's there to change?
Friend A: There is something women wanting to change a man. Like its sort of some kind of challenge, let's see if I can change this part about him or not... whether or not it matter, she will always want to change him, it's just the way it is...

I roll my eyes, no that is soooo not true... OR IS IT??? (by the way this couple is real sweet, I don't mean any harm by blogging about it. They are one of the sweetest couples around!)

Then I googled for an article on the top 6 things women want to change about their men... True or false? You decide!

1. How you dress

First, consider the following: Do you think black matches with navy? Do you think it's acceptable to wear the same shirt three days in a row? If you genuinely believe that you have a good sense of style (and this has been confirmed by other people), then by all means stand your ground on your wardrobe.

How to stand your ground: Avoid going shopping with her to keep her input on your purchases to a minimum. If she buys you gifts of clothing, you have no choice but to say thank you, smile and nod. Having said that, you can give your input in a more subtle way; for example, you can compliment her choice of a tie while subtly suggesting that you might prefer another color.

2. What you eat

If she is trying to steer you away from red meat and French fries, she really does have your best interests at heart. And if she is the one in charge of the cooking, you might have to live with some of her dietary guidelines.

How to stand your ground: If you want to have your way when it comes to your diet, you have to become more involved with the grocery shopping and cooking. You can suggest that you have a craving for a certain thing or that you loved a certain dish she made for you in order to nudge her in your direction.

Ultimately, though, how you eat is your decision, so when you are on your own (doing the cooking or eating out), you are free to make your own dietary decisions. Just don't go home and confess to them.

Does she hate your friends, your hobbies, your habits, and your love of porn? Find out what to do.

3. Your friends

Does she encourage you to hang out with your married friends and steer you away from your bachelor friends? It's not uncommon for a woman to feel uncomfortable when you go out with your bachelor buddies for fear that they might influence you or con you into being their wingman.

How to stand your ground: If you notice she is trying to steer you away from some of your good buddies, discuss the issue right way. In a calm manner, make her understand that you intend to remain close to your friends, even though she might not like them.

Try to point out your best buddy's better qualities so she'll understand why you keep him around. For example, don't mention his ability to drink like a fish; rather, emphasize his generosity and kind heart. You can even invite your buddy and your girlfriend on an activity that they will both enjoy to get them to bond.

4. Your hobbies
She might want the two of you to share similar hobbies, but this doesn't mean that you have to give up everything you formerly loved.

How to stand your ground: Make sure that you spend enough time with her and try to find an activity that you both enjoy. This way, when you want to go watch the game without her, she won't feel neglected.

5. Your bad habits
If you are seriously addicted to smoking, drinking or drugs, then you may want to consider yielding to her nagging for your own good. However, if she objects to a night out with the guys, it's time to stand your ground.

How to stand your ground: If she nags you constantly about your bad habits, then feel free to do the same to her. Keep it light and do it in a joking manner, but do mention her overzealousness when it comes to eating cake or her addiction to sun-tanning.

Meanwhile, try to continue on with your bad habits as usual without bringing them to her attention. If she continues to nag you, then confront her head on about it. Ultimately, no amount of nagging will help you change a bad habit - it has to come from you!

6. Your love of porn and/or strip clubs
She may try to steer you away from any naked woman other than herself; you'll have to work her through her anxiety about it.

How to stand your ground: Discuss the issue early on and make her understand that the occasional bachelor party at a strip club does not pose a threat to her or your relationship.

You might even want to get her involved by asking her along to a classy strip club (a rundown establishment will not help your cause). This way, she'll see that there is no risk that you'll actually cheat on her with one of the women.

Despite her best intentions, as you know after reading the above, you are certainly not obligated to go along with her desired changes. So put the advice above into practice and you'll be able to withstand her changing ways and keep your personality intact.

Bottomline: Have I made you men CHANGE your mind about women? :)

Read more about Why Women Need To Change Men at DateDaily.com

9eek9oddess on MyPaper (Wobao)

Hitchoo is featured on MyPaper! 9eek9oddess featured!



Yinghan has been very nice to bring me to this Jap restaurant with his gf and his other Tengji and Eric for dinner. So sweet, want to thank me also don't have to buy me buffet Jap dinner. I ate so much its really not funny at all.
But food was good and most importantly, company was fantabulous! :)

Thank you Hitchoo, thank you Yinghan. Have you all signed up for Hitchoo yet?

If not, you're missing out on something for sure... :)

Things a TaiTai Owns - BE AMAZED!

Watch these 3 little video clips I took and you'll know what it is like to live a "taitai" life. Can you imagine, playing mahjong and not once having need to wash the tiles or line them up? Never having to ever throw the dice. Getting it rolled without ever touching it?

It's insane... no seriously... pure insanity. but I do like the mahjong table though... shows that technology is applicable to on and all!

811 Parody: Xiaxue & Mr. Nuffnang & BlackHighHeels!

We watched 881 today. To be honest I didn't really enjoy it. It was really sad. I ended up tearing at the end. Most of the dialogue I cannot understand, save for the vulgarities that my granny uses as well.

It was a bit cheesy to be honest, plus I think it is a bit too cheena for me. I don't rub on well with Chinese movies. Nonetheless, I think Royston Tan did a good job..



















So for those who have watched it, you will understand this little parody... :) Something Ming, Wendy and Mike came up with. The little "cake-like-thing" was bought by Stanley and Evelyn..

I can always make you smile..

Yearning in his eyes he stares at her silhouette
She only turns away, oblivious & ignorant
He was smitten the moment their eyes met
Tarry a while boy, haven't you learnt?
Falling too hard might get you burnt
She seems to have seen you but not noticed,
She seems to look through you but not at
There's something about you that she's missed
But I see all that you stand for, the good and the bad
& I, well... I can always make you smile..

He walks behind her, tip toed, tongue tied
She struts on, not once notices his presence
Haven't you been hurt before, boy
Are you going to fall for the same ploy?
She looks past you but not at you
She looks for him, not for you
All that you can give she just overlooks
But I see beyond those school books
& I, well... I can always make you smile..

He peeps from the corner, enamoured by her smile
She walks past, nose in the air - unaware
Haven't you been here, ain't it familiar?
Isn't this all a bit too peculiar
She looks around you but not at you
She look at him, not for you
All that you offer she never sees
But I know you far beyond your 3-D
& I, well... I can always make you smile..

He sends her flowers, teddy bears and cards
But these are everyday occurances to her
You're chasing so hard, unafraid to fall
But little do you know you've already fallen
She looks at you, doesn't register
She looks at you, doesn't matter
All your lovin' she won't appreciate
All you care she'll obliterate
But I'll still stand here just for a while
Just in case you need someone who'll make you smile...

Written by 9eek9oddess
12th August 2007

Drunk Guy Proving He is NOT Drunk

Here is my dear friend, proving that he is NOT drunk, it's a funny sight, as we try to slap him up and down... he tries to walk in a straight line :)

ADORABLE... he claims to be the "happy drunk", I don't deny...

He even tries to give advice as a love/relationship guru.... preaching about a guy who tried to win over a girl's heart

Hugs for 5 Cents?

I watched on TV a festival / occasion where people wore a sign board on their bodies, indicating that they were giving free hugs away...

Despite that, on lookers and by passers were skeptical and apprehensive of receiving hugs. This made me wonder, have we become insensitive cynics, stingy with the love we give and receive? Have we forgotten that deep down inside, no man is an island and that without love, we would cease to exist?

Are we always demanding love from others yet withholding our love from them?

Don't ask what someone can do for you, but what you can do for them. And don't forget that indeed a hug a day can keep the doctor away!

Love ya all! :) *hugs*

Spilt Coffee on Tomorrow's Dreams

I drew a picture of you in my mind
No you were not perfect, you didn't need to be
You just had to be you, just one of a kind
You didn't need to pretend, don't you see?
It was some kind of awesome, somewhat delectable
I continued to sketch, strokes aplenty
Each brush stroke, each shade, water soluble
Change as you want, you have the right to be free

He called my name & I spun 3-60
Hand knocked over my cup of coffee
Stale cold coffee over your picture, I'm sorry
Sorry he won't let me be
He's stolen my right to be free

I drew a picture of my tomorrow
Simple, sweet, serene as can be
It wasn't perfect but I didn't need to borrow
Someone else's memory
I don't need for perfection
There lies beauty in heartache
I don't need for protection
I learn from my scars, for goodness sake

He called my name & I spun 3-60
Hand knocked over my cup of coffee
Stale cold coffee over your picture, I'm sorry
I'm struggling to be free
I need time, can't you see?

I drew a picture of a decade ahead
Just us in a mini caravan, down the dirty road
Time heals all wounds, new plans are made
Our happy home, our humble abode
It didn't need to be flawless
It didn't need to be all made up
It didn't need to be effortless
It just needed to semi-fill the cup

He called my name & I spun 3-60
Hand knocked over my cup of coffee
Stale cold coffee over your picture, I'm sorry
But I brush aside the dampness
It doesn't matter if it's dirty or if its not meant to be,
I'm painting over the stains, to find my flicker of happiness

9eek 9oddess, 10th August 2007

I Swear... By the Sun & the Moon in the SKY...

2 boys serenade to each other... :) Isn't it wonderful how friendship can be. Especially if you now you won't be meeting each other for the next year?

I swear.. by the sun and the moon in the sky, I'll be there! :)

Goodbye Stranger, I never knew U...

It's funny how you can know a (childhood) friend for most of your life - 20 odd years in all, yet find that you never really "really" knew them.

Kenneth and I grew up together - our parents worshiped in the same church, we played in the same playground, ate Sunday breakfasts together, sang church songs and went for church camps together. As kids, you never get to really know another kid, you never get to have in depth conversations or get to understand who that person is within.

That was Kenneth and I. Childhood friends, yet strangers within.

We only saw each other whenever he flew back from New York during the summer holidays. Even when I was at Upenn for 2 years, and New York City was so near, I never really made time to visit him... for some weird reason. But God has been merciful to allow our paths to cross continually, over and over again.

So just this past fortnight, I've spent so much more time with him that ever before and gotten to know his friends and more of him as a person. I always joke about knowing him since he was a "sperm" (since we go waaaaaay back), but really, how much do I know of this stranger.... this stranger who has been there forever, this apparition, this figment, this mirage. Then again, does duration of a friendship demark its depth? I think not...





This is a tribute to Kenneth my childhood friend.. I have finally come to understand you more as a friend - thank you for allowing me to have a glimpse into that world of yours. Cheers, my brother, have a safe trip back to NYU.

Until we meet again...

Woman Jumps into train tracks - Suicide

Suicide. It's a very big word, at least to me. What would be so painful to drive a person to end his/her life. I was at the Tampines MRT this evening and suddenly police were everywhere and we were pushed out of the station and no one was allowed to enter anymore. No one said why, but basically it was chaotic because there was a huge crowd, many people seemed upset.

I was already running late and now, the east line being closed was not making things easier! Argh! I heard from beside me this lady said that their train had been delayed by an hour because someone jumped onto the tracks and get run over by the MRT train. Now they have no choice but to shut down the line and wait until she had been "cleared" off the tracks for investigation.

I was so sorry when I heard this. No so much because this disruption would make me late, much much more so that someone had found life so intolerable that living was more painful than the thought of getting your body run over by a train.

I stood there for a couple of minutes, staring blank, rooted to the ground, my body went cold. The world started to spin round and round, I started to breathe harder. Some cop had to break this sorry news to her family, assuming she had one.

What is it that pushes us off the limit, to take our own lives? In ACJC, the girl killed herself supposedly over bad results. Then sometimes before I left for the states, this guy was at the top of some engineering building in NUS going to jump down - reason being he was heartbroken. Are results and love valid reasons to die for? What makes a reason valid?

Different people have different tolerance levels for pain so what makes a reason for dying "valid"? Why do out thresholds vary? I can remember a couple of times in my life where I thought dying was better than staying alive in pain but what made me not even consider taking my life? The truth? I really think that the "aftermath" of death would be terrible. I think of my dad, mum and sister, plus friends mourning my death. I think my parents would be very upset and hurt. That is more painful than anything else. So whatever and however painful things are, I don't want to leave a trail of destruction for the people I love...

Nonetheless, I wish the family of the deceased well, may God bless them and comfort them..

Watching Naked Women at Junkang's

"Fur coats and no knickers" - the catch phrase from our little movie, Mrs henderson presents. I know this is an old show, but basically I managed to dig out this old DVD, so decided to watch it with friends...

Raine, I and Peter headed for Junkang's house last saturday - to watch "Mrs Hendersons" on DVD. I didn't know it was a story about naked women performing for army boys during the war on stage until in the lift... at the bottom of the cd stated "M18, nudity" and upon reading the sypnosis, understood that this was a show about well, "tasteful art"...

When I noticed, I gasped aloud... my father heard it and I commented that I didn't know this had nudity in it. The next thing I knew he tried to take the dvd and hide it from me.

Reason: " Girl.. when you go guys house u cannot bring naked women picture to watch, it gives the wrong impression. Girls want to be treated with respect should act respectful. No RA movies."

Result: I snigger. My good old daddy acting up again. "Yes la dad, don't you worry. It isn't RA, it's M18 and my other friends are going with me, don't worry"

My father is just so cute trying to sneak the dvd away so won't walk down the "mired path". OK, so I digress. But it was an awesome time at Junkang's watching show! I love dvds! And the movie was pretty decent to boot!

Some pictures of our gathering:

Walking Away Alive...

Being able to survive a disaster and coming out alive doesn't mean that it was ever ok. Survived it you may have, conquered it you might, but it doesn't one bit mean that going through it was a piece of cake...

One story I think of when looking at the picture above is my auntie. A lone standing tree, fighting away the strong winds, a story to behold.

Auntie X was born in be the only girl in a family with 7 sons. Pampered she was, she got married at a pretty young age, idealistic to lead a life filled with happiness.

After getting married, she had tried for a kid for 8 years but in vain and when she finally conceived, of course the both of them were really happy. Her son was born 9 months later, into a family filled with love and care. X loved her son so much especially after the long wait she spoilt him and spent a huge portion of her time caring for him. Her husband and her fell out many times as they had different ideals in child upbringing - son their marriage grew cold. This made her realise how much important her son was to her and thus she fought hard to care for him more.

The 3 of them lived in a house, where messages towards each other was transmitted by their son. The marriage was irreparable... X recently lasted though a death threatening experience, I had blogged about her previously. Cancer.

She had had her ovaries removed due to a tumour 15cm in diameter. She is clear of cancer now - but fighting to live a normal live - her and her son.

I think about it and I ask myself, just because she went through all the turmoil in her life, does surviving through it alone make it ever OK? Just because we have lived through a disaster, does it mean she is happy to have lived the life we had? Sometimes I look at victims of disaster and they have that crazed happiness in their eyes - surviving through a typhoon, a tsunami, a flight disaster- these people are just happy to be alive despite knowing that they have lost everything they had.

Then I look at X, she is happy to be alive, happy to have lasted through all that painful life experiences. I try to put myself in her shoes - what if I had gone through everything that she had? Would I be as contented as she?

I rant and rave and complain and bitch about the small problems and worries in life, I sulk about small hiccups like the toilet sink choking (yes last night I go so peeved off when my sink choked for no reason), like the air con breaking down, the remote control not having battery, etc... Have a ever stopped to think about how fortunate I am?

No... but I don't know how to start...

Bandaids are human's greatest gift to mankind.. to cover up a wound so we pretend not to see it and wish it away... then finally, weeks after when we rip it off (painfully!), we see a scar.. that seeks to remind us that we have survived (yet another) disaster!

Hurrah to bandaids!!!

Does this world have BIGGER plans for me?

This poem is written for those who always wanted to be - but never thought they could make it. For those who gave up their dreams because others said that they couldn't. For those who never thought that they were good enough and because of that never dared to try. For those who still have a dream and don't know where to start... push on, dream on, the world is just about to start and the tides will turn, only if you believe...


You look up at your mother like she was everything you had
You grasp her hand in the crowd afraid to breathe too hard
I look deep into your eyes my child, why you look so sad
Loosen the grip a little, you're perpetually on your guard
You dream big dreams inside your soul, at night you stay awake
You watch your mother toil away, her pain must not be told
She swallows hard her tears of hurt, she works just for your sake
My little child hold fast to hope, your dreams you should behold

The world tells you you're too small, you blend into the crowd
When you try to prove yourself, they look at you in doubt
You scream so loud, your little voice, you struggle to speak aloud
Tears down your cheeks, "Will someone out there hear me out?"
Mother dear looks down at you, she smiles with love & grace
She holds your hand a little tighter, whispers words of care
"Doesn't matter what they say my child, you do what it takes
If no one else believes in you -- the world just isn't fair"

You look at her, that familiar smile, you hold your head up high
Let that dream of your take root today no matter what they say
Have faith within, hang fast to hope, block away the lie
When the world tells you you're nothing, shove them outta the way
Doesn't matter that they don't believe, they care not for you
Remember what your mother said, she's been there from the start
Little child, you're not a nobody, like me, you're unique too
You just need to find your way, so open up your heart

9eek 9oddess, 5 August 2007

I was the heartbreaker

"But you just keep on coming back incessantly
Oh why did I have to run your game on you
You should have known right from the start
I'd go and break your heart"

Some people think that only the heartbroken are hurt, sometimes it hurts a lot to break a heart as well, especially if you know it's for the better & if u still love that person.

Have u ever looked at iy from another angle?

HELP you to HELP me!!!

Why do we wait until things have passed us by before we learn to appreciate them. Reason: The is the folly of human nature. Most of us are slaggard and lazy, we expect things to come to us, we demand for things to come to us. And when they don't, we blame everyone but ourselves.

Maybe I'm speaking to myself, at myself, but somehow the decay of human nature has caused us to lust and greed for things that - don't really matter-. I'm serious.

Rarely do we meet someone who appreciates the simpler things in life, the breeze blowing against your skin along the beach, staring in a single cloud in the clear sky, rain falling on your cheeks in the rain. We only talk about what cars we drive, who does what and who knows who. Why has it got to be this way... even if I don't want to change, I find myself helplessly slipping down this slippery slope.


Things have changed since coming back from my 20 month stint in Philadelphia. And I don't know if it's a good of bad thing. Going to the states has been the best and worst experience of my life. I grew to learn how to be independent, to take care of myself, to learn to live with others unlike me and of a different culture. To know how to scrimp and save, to take full charge of how I juggle my time, my laundry (YUCKS!), cooking, cleaning. It was a cinderella's life. But I have taken the bad from the experience as well, as much as I try to hide from it, I have become more cynical, and less of a friend to the poor.

I had forced myself to do community work in Philadelphia during my time there, twice a week so I could learn to keep myself "connected" to the purity of life. Planning educational programs and activities for the poor black community was the only solace I could find. Sometimes I think back and feel guilty because as much as I was helping them, I was really doing it for myself.

I was guilty and ashamed of what I had become when I was there - ambitious and just selfish - helping the poor was the only was I felt I could "atone" for my sins. But it never really mattered to me as long as others didn't know what I was really thinking.

That is the danger of a blog -- sometimes we can reveal too much of our inner thoughts, they might come back and stab us. But I'm not afraid of writing and admitting to the fact that helping poor children was I way I made myself feel better about the state of my human condition. I had lost the heart.. and I was desperately trying to find it in the innocent lives which I was "selflessly" touching.

The smiles, the laughter, the hugs... what would I give to be with the children again..... but this time myself, with not a care in the world, to look into their eyes and show them what it means when to be honest, stripped of agenda...

Pure at heart, with not a care in the world. Poor they were, but they knew how to enjoy the simpler pleasures. The community was close knit and greeting and hugging one another was native to them. It's as if they didn't know when their next meal was but they were happy that at present, they had food on their plate. They were happy that for that moment, they could be with the people they love, as one family, having a good time together. It didn't matter if the guy down the row was a druggie or if his father didn't own a nice car... nothing mattered except for the knowledge that right then and there, they were satisfied, with what they were, who they where and where they were. Of course there is a difference between complacency and lack of ambition, but that's a whole new post altogether.

Start today by enjoying the simpler things, like friends, family and even foes... before its too late. You can never ever tell when someone's time is up

Don't wait for tomorrow to tell the people you love that you appreciate them..

It only takes a second to decide to swallow that pride...

P/s: To the gfs that have stood by me through everything, you know who you are, I LOVE U!

Proof that birds are EVIL

I don't know what kinds of birds are the most evil, but I've always knew that they were, especially years ago when one stinky shitty bird "shat" into my eye at a Mobil kiosk.

Useless trivia for you... did you now that polar bears and penguins live on totally different poles? Meaning that if not for human intervention, the would never have met? For some reason I always have this image in my mind that they live together?? In fact now I still think they do... but yea... they actually live far far from each other..

Did you know that?

I did love u a lot at one pt of time

Sometimes when we let go of something, we tend to think it is the best thing to do at that moment. But when it's all over we look back and ruminate. Maybe it was a wrong choice to let go of that thing, because we may never find it again.

When I think of decisions I've made in the past, I regret some, but there are those that I am proud of. Mr Ex-bf messaged me out of the blue yesterday saying that it was good being single and that he was bad with girls. What a "not him" thing to say, he has always been a firm believer of love. That kind that secures a good job, provides for his family and will be nice, caring and faithful.

What has the world done to him? I hope I didn't cause him to be so jaded. He, of all person not believing in love? CRAP. He was never like that. Guess he had a couple of beers to many and was watching a ton of HBO sappy shows.

"Just keep it simple and slow - and btw i did love u a lot at one pt of time".. thats what he said to me.. "but i jus want u to know i had a hard time with u when we were together however i did enjoy those good memories together =) but i guess i ain't good enough"

Sadness wafted over my being... aint good enough? What did I ever do to give him that impression?

Why did this relationship break down? This dude flew down to USA to find me when I was there. Took me and my sister out etc, what happened along the way that caused me to change? Was it me? Was it him? Why am I dissecting it now that is over? Or is it not?

So many things are happening in my life, so quickly. People coming and going, meeting new people - some things are just so transient. Sometimes when I'm all alone I think to myself, did I let go of something good? And what drove me to do it? What are the 1001 excuses I pull out each time, but how true are they?

I once told him that he was not ambitious enough, who the hell am I to say that? Ambition is not the most important thing. What's the use of ambition when the guy doesn't spend any time with you? He did and would give almost anything just to see me. Why was I not happy? How could I have said something so demeaning and insensitive? Who am I to judge when I'm no better myself? Have I made him change into something he is not? Have I made him think that ambition is everything now? So what if he tells me he has an internship with UBS now, has he forgotten what he was initially? He was Mr. family man... please God don't let him change into anything else. I don't want one girl to miss having the chance of a perfect relationship!

How can unrequited love last so long, after the pain I've put him through? Is he human?

There is something about me I absolutely hate. I am really stubborn and I have to change that for the love of God. If not i will forever stay this way, hardened and cold. And I don't want to die this way... so help me God.

I never wanted to be different...

...

The right words... at the right time...

Sometimes, we say the wrong words, at the right time. Sometimes, it's the right words at the wrong time. Whatever it is, things just fall apart.

I remember falling out with my ex-best friend in secondary school. Thinking about it makes me sad, but like I said, sometimes after things have been said and done, we reach a point of no return..

It's sad story, but I guess maybe there is something I can take home from it. The only fear is that it will happen again, and happen unknowingly...

Best friend X was dating a guy about 17 years older than her. He had a child almost about her age. It was hard for me to fathom, as a 15 year old young secondary school girl, which could be why I handled the situation so badly.

We were going to hang out one weekend with another girlfriend of ours and friend X wanted to bring her boyfriend along. I wasn't too happy about it and thought that it would be a nice girls outing, and wasn't comfortable with him along.

I guess the way I put it came across very harshly, I don't remember the words I said per se, but it was something to the effect of "I don't think we want him along". I guess I was insensitive because it sent across the wrong message that I was not being supportive and it was taken to be mean and cold.

I don't remember what I was thinking at that time, just that I didn't want him along - period. Friend X said that we knew that it was the only time she could go out with him (without her mother snooping?) and I guess she truly cared for us to know the person she was seeing.

Thinking back, I don't know how I could have made the situation better. Maybe it was an accident waiting to happen. Perhaps I could have been more sensitive. I was 15 years old, and then and there I experience my first break down in friendship. I had lost my best friend. I don't recall what happened after but I knew things were never the same again. I was hurt and I remember crying over it several times (but never letting her know). My beautiful bubble had burst, and I didn't know how to mend things.

What could have I done differently to right things? All the what ifs and whys... I try not to think about it much, but some morning it creeps back to me. it's been 9 years since it happens, but once a while I remember friend X and I'm filled with regret, but am equally confused.

What could I have done differently? Who can help me turn back time?