Just for laugh, folks! Something light hearted instead of my verbal diarrhoea!
The Female Demerit Point System
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and
points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the
way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0) You throw the
bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1) You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
in the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5) You check out a suspicious noise
at night (+1) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0) You
check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5) You pummel it with
iron rod (+10) It's her pet (-20)
You stay by her side the entire party (0) You stay by her side for a while,
then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2) Named Tina (-10) Tina is a
dancer (-20) Tina has silicone implants (-80)
You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3) Okay, it's a
sports bar (-2) And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3) It's a sports bar, it's
all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10) You
develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian
shirts (-30) You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what) You
hesitate in responding (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35) Any other response
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks
like a concerned expression (0) You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50) You
listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500) She
realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000).