One week on, and the glory dust is still upon me.
As I went for Tuesday Group last night, I prayed for restoration, God's promise of restoration, and for him to USE MY HANDS more, to use me as a vessel to be sent out to the nations for His glory.
How great it is the rest in the presence of God, to see signs and wonder manifest on my palms. It's only me, I tell God. But He can indeed use the little we have for his glory. No gift is ever too small for Him to you. We just need to be available. An available and willing heart is fertile ground for God to use and send forth.
I am truly humbled and honoured that I, in my own way can use these palms to touch the lives of others. Brother Jeff asked me to pray for that similar anointing on 3 other sisters in Christ in the group and by the grace of God, He revealed himself true to them as well! Sister Tammy had her entire palms shining and glittering with glory dust. Oh how the Lord loves His children, he rewards them and shows Himself real to those who earnestly seek Him.
I have never been so close to God in my entire life before. I feel as though I am breathing Him, living Him, Walking in his light and his plans (finally). It took be a very very long time to get here, it was a major struggle. But I know this is the beginning of an awesome journey with my heavenly Father. I am bubbling with joy every moment despite my circumstances, I feel as if living in His will alone gives me strength to conquer EVERYTHING, no weapon formed against me will prosper! There is tremendous joy and excitement being in the presence of God. Men can ridicule, but I am willing to be that fool for Christ, as long as it pleases Him!
I DO NOT regret anything in my past -- this was a revelation to me yesterday as I walked home from the MRT station. There have been things I have done that I feel ashamed and sorry for, things that I will crucify on the cross. But if not for these past circumstances, I would not have been so broken in spirit that I have no choice to come into God's presence and cry out in repentance and mercy. And it was only in my brokennes, in the place of refuge, or total despair, that God saw the little I had left, stretched out His hands of mercy and rescued me, made me whole. Yes I am angry at what I have allowed myself to be put through in the past, but TRULY it was only because of these experiences that I knew I had no one else to turn to buy God. And that is where he showed Himself faithful and true.
I would go through the pain all over again, the sadness, the sorrow, the despair, the hopelessness again for You, Lord, if it is what it takes for me to enter into Your presence. I never want to leave this beautiful place. It is amazing! You, truly are in the business of transformation!
All glory and honour goes to you! Till the race is finished, and the work is done, I walk by faith and not by side.