I know I have been writing a lot about God and how He has revealed things in my life that has caused me to refocus everything I am on Him. The walk with God is not easy, it is bumpy, sometimes I feel helplessly alone (although I know I am never really alone), and sometimes I feel God is embracing me. Being alone, single, by choice, is not an easy thing to do. But I am convinced that at this point of time in my life, it is right for me. It is a time for me to spend my time with Jesus, learning how to be the person He has moulded me to be, learning to rely on Him and not on myself. And most importantly, when I am lonely, to remind myself that if I cannot be happy being me, alone, and cannot find my total fulfillment in Christ, then no other person can fill this need in my life. And I have learnt to submit, to not seek to understand completely (because it is impossible), but to have faith that everything works for the good to those who LOVE him and are called according to his purpose (Rom 8:28)
The truth is that I miss Ming a lot. No I do not love him in that way anymore, I have moved on, but there is a special place in my heart for him. He will forever be special to me, and I pray that God will touch Him and show Himself real to him. However smart and successful he is, He needs the Lord and Jesus knows how much I pray for Ming to one day have scales from his eyes fall off and that He will realize that everything he has comes from the Lord.
There is little I can do as I hardly speak to him anymore. Perhaps, more so by choice because it doesnt make things better for me, for sure. Just praying for him constantly is the least I can do...
But there is a time and season for everything and now, I put aside the memories, and walk on, eye on Christ. The Lord will provide, in His time.