HELP you to HELP me!!!

Why do we wait until things have passed us by before we learn to appreciate them. Reason: The is the folly of human nature. Most of us are slaggard and lazy, we expect things to come to us, we demand for things to come to us. And when they don't, we blame everyone but ourselves.

Maybe I'm speaking to myself, at myself, but somehow the decay of human nature has caused us to lust and greed for things that - don't really matter-. I'm serious.

Rarely do we meet someone who appreciates the simpler things in life, the breeze blowing against your skin along the beach, staring in a single cloud in the clear sky, rain falling on your cheeks in the rain. We only talk about what cars we drive, who does what and who knows who. Why has it got to be this way... even if I don't want to change, I find myself helplessly slipping down this slippery slope.

Things have changed since coming back from my 20 month stint in Philadelphia. And I don't know if it's a good of bad thing. Going to the states has been the best and worst experience of my life. I grew to learn how to be independent, to take care of myself, to learn to live with others unlike me and of a different culture. To know how to scrimp and save, to take full charge of how I juggle my time, my laundry (YUCKS!), cooking, cleaning. It was a cinderella's life. But I have taken the bad from the experience as well, as much as I try to hide from it, I have become more cynical, and less of a friend to the poor.

I had forced myself to do community work in Philadelphia during my time there, twice a week so I could learn to keep myself "connected" to the purity of life. Planning educational programs and activities for the poor black community was the only solace I could find. Sometimes I think back and feel guilty because as much as I was helping them, I was really doing it for myself.

I was guilty and ashamed of what I had become when I was there - ambitious and just selfish - helping the poor was the only was I felt I could "atone" for my sins. But it never really mattered to me as long as others didn't know what I was really thinking.

That is the danger of a blog -- sometimes we can reveal too much of our inner thoughts, they might come back and stab us. But I'm not afraid of writing and admitting to the fact that helping poor children was I way I made myself feel better about the state of my human condition. I had lost the heart.. and I was desperately trying to find it in the innocent lives which I was "selflessly" touching.

The smiles, the laughter, the hugs... what would I give to be with the children again..... but this time myself, with not a care in the world, to look into their eyes and show them what it means when to be honest, stripped of agenda...

Pure at heart, with not a care in the world. Poor they were, but they knew how to enjoy the simpler pleasures. The community was close knit and greeting and hugging one another was native to them. It's as if they didn't know when their next meal was but they were happy that at present, they had food on their plate. They were happy that for that moment, they could be with the people they love, as one family, having a good time together. It didn't matter if the guy down the row was a druggie or if his father didn't own a nice car... nothing mattered except for the knowledge that right then and there, they were satisfied, with what they were, who they where and where they were. Of course there is a difference between complacency and lack of ambition, but that's a whole new post altogether.

Start today by enjoying the simpler things, like friends, family and even foes... before its too late. You can never ever tell when someone's time is up

Don't wait for tomorrow to tell the people you love that you appreciate them..

It only takes a second to decide to swallow that pride...

P/s: To the gfs that have stood by me through everything, you know who you are, I LOVE U!


Anonymous said...

HI there would you like to come help my cousin with his 40 hour famine project to help raise funds to children around the world. He will be fasting for 40 hours without food and furniture, and will be taking donations online. If you are interested, please visit:

Have a good one

eStee said...

i will def be in

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