I wish I had loved u more, before


Nothing wakes you up until you actually have someone close to you fall ill -- terminally ill. Ironic how you stat to treasure someone so much more when you know you have a limited time to spend with that person. Is it human nature to disregard someone until you know their time to go is fast approaching?

I'm upset -- ANGRY at cancer. Angry at it for cannibalizing on the good people. For being blind in its choice -- not knowing how to recognize evil for good. Cancer is so random. I've known people who have been smoking a pack a day since eternity and never fall it. Yet there are those who live "organically", never drink or smoke yet catch diseases of every nature. CANCER, I hate you.

A few days back, I found out Auntie Irene has cancer -- or so it is very likely. 15cm tumor in her womb, and now her lungs are cloudy -- not a good sign at all. Surgery next week. The news hit me like a block of bricks. Young divorcee, with a son and no job, having to have to fight not only for her life, but for the very right to be loved.

It just upsets me when good people fall ill -- its so undeserving. I wish I had loved her more, before. Not when it's too late... No use crying, just have to fight back tears and bite those quivering lips... some things just happen for a reason, no use questioning, only leaves you more jaded.

Have you told someone U care for that they matter? Don't wait for tomorrow, sometimes, even that may be way too late...

10 comments:

ET said...

You'd know something? In my previous job, I picked up and sent so many bodies to the mortuary until they changed my philosophy of life in a very big way. Who says the dead can't talk?

There is one particular case I attended which I doubt I can forget in my lifetime. Apparently, there was this guy who died of an heart attack and when his daughter came down to where his body was, (the vehicle wasn't at scene to pick up the body yet), she was hugging him and crying... and that's not it. She kept saying "I'm sorry daddy... i'm sorry daddy..."

Until today I never knew what she was sorry for... but all I know was, her dad will never be able to hear her apologies.

pubed said...

I'd run away if I see a dead body...

Anonymous said...

awww...poor dear. *HUGGIES* Sometimes we can never comprehend God's plans for us and the world seems unjust. The best thing we can do is pray and leave everything to God. I believe that God does grant miracles. love you very much, tee-tee. -dawnie

Å®çåñë ĉåñţïçłξ said...

Death is the reason to live your life to the fullest ... and it's not too late to show your love.

Though I believe the worst part is how quickly you need to move on ... the world doesn't stop a beat and loss is forgotten in the blur of the race against time.

No mater who you're talking about, One day, they're no more, yet the sun still shines, the wind still blows, the rain still falls and the world moves on ...

Love her all while you still can.

Farinelli said...

Such a moving post. The only sad thing is when we read stories like your's and ET's, and feel sad, and go back to taking things for granted half a week later. Some things you just don't wanna learn by repeated experience...

eStee said...

et: its damn sad such stories, why wait until someone isnt there to tell them you love them?

pubed: Run away? haha.. that's funny but u can only run so far...

dawnie: come back soon!

arcane: yea its funny how we move on faster than we think we will.. sometimes people just forget each other and move on...

far: yeap agree with you. all talk no action, no point...

Shingo T said...

A very sincere post.

Cancer is often a case of what we consume. It is controllable and preventable if we watch what we eat.

May your post create some awareness.

litford said...

sorry to hear about this. i hope your aunt's son can be strong in these trialing times as well. it really isn't fair.. Godspeed

eStee said...

shingo & Litford: Thank you for commenting, God will make a way!

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