Vanity Fair @ NUS Brings out the HORNS in GIRLS

Yes, of course girls can be demure little angels, prim and proper ladies when they want to, BUT not when NUS organizes the once a year VANITY FAIR. At the sound of the word "Vanity Fair", they, as if on cue, sprout horns, grow 3 extra hands and develop an uncanny ability to squeeze into nooks and crannies 3 times smaller than them. Even the meekest girls are able to bellow in loud voices that cause the ear bones of anyone to reverberate in pain. Suddenly it's as if our elbows were made for by evolution to be have no use but to nudge away contenders... (and by this I don't mean the opposite sex)

No and I'M NOT KIDDING. Basically, we were like sardines. Sardines packed in a can. Sardines packed in a can on a hot Thursday, squeezing to get our way among the throng of other sweaty, slippery sardines...

No, make that sardine-flavoured humans packed in a can of already overflowing saline-covered , oily sardines.

The NUS Vanity Fair is a huge sale in the central forum every year where they sell make up at relatively cheaper prices (NO they are still NOT cheap!), and like a sea of girls get up early, line up like fools just to get a glimpse of, yes LAST SEASON's colours. (The things we do to save money and look better!!!) Oh my God I thought they were going to be this season's!!! Got tricked! I blame this on the X chromosome, it is undoubtedly ingrained in our very pink DNA.

Girls suddenly grow horns, hold a trident in their hands, trying to fend off fellow "competitors". Cosmetics strewn all over the table, hands reaching out for scraps of sample pieces on the table, fingernails scratching each other's skin, huffing and puffing, almost in a possessed frenzy.

I caught myself for a second trying to squeeze into the crowd but suddenly it just seemed as if the world stopped spinning, I broke out in cold sweat and I was hit by a wave of revelation. "Man I really don't need this! I'm buying stuff for my mother, my sister, my friends! Ouch, someone is stepping on my toes with her stilettos! Get lost, girlfriend!!!!"

However, I managed to get a quite a few laughs, from watching people act the way they do. Most of my giggles were directed towards, not women, but the MEN, in other words the foolish (oops, did I say that out loud) boyfriends who help their girlfriends line up for hours just to throw their money in the diamond studded faces of the already too rich cosmetic giants. Ok, but then again the poor guys are so sweet to stand in line and wait, and wait and wait and... yes, wait. I don't know how they have the patience. The foolish things love makes you do....

Conversation 1
BF: How much you want me to withdraw?
GF: Just take some money out la..
BF: Ok $50 enough?
GF: Why don't you just take $250 out first, got extra then put back..
BF: ..........

Conversation 2
GF: You help me line up first to pay then when I'm done I go find you k?
BF: OK, don't take too long hor...

GF: Your next class is in 4 hours right?
BF: .............

Conversation 3

BF: Got anything for guys?
GF: Eh can help me take the blue eye shadow?
BF: Ok, can got anything for guys not?
GF: Dear, which colour is nicer ah?
BF: Purple nicer; got anything for guys here?
GF: OK I think I'm done, can pay already

Conversation 4

Guy 1: Eh what you doing here?
Guy 2: Lining up for girlfriend lor, you?
Guy 1: Same lor, you no lesson ah?
Guy 2: Got la, life's lesson lor. never to volunteer to queue up for girlfriend
Guy 1: Not worth it la, no modular credit one
(As a sidenote I do not think guys should pay for their gf's make up, why should they? I find it a tad bit insulting, to be honest)

Welcome to the world of Monster girls... I do agree (just for today), girls can be really unreasonable and jut plain animalistic *meow* when it comes to getting what they (think) they want...

Next year's vanity fair will probably look something like this, so I advice you to be prepared with body armor and deodorant..


Jas aka paced said...

Hmm, do these gals know that cosmetics has expiry dates? Last season colours can last how long more?

But then again, money makes the world go round. I'm also a sucker for discounted stuff.

Anonymous said...

that's what is for, my darling! no hassle no fuss although sometimes the thrill is in the squeeze...i want new make-up too. sigh

miss you and love you.

eStee said...

Paced: They last la, they are really good quality too, just last season, But I managed to find some really good colour, which also made $300 roll out of my pocket, and they are not for me!!! Man...

eStee said...

Dawn: I bought you lip gloss, nt sure if you will like though. It's not the pat wexler lip plumper kind, but it's pretty sweet too. Ir you prefer eye shadow? No eye liner though. I was hoping to get anna sui eye liner and mascara for u! I know u love them! But no luck there!!

Anonymous said...

haha those conversations really cracked me up :)

i'd rather pay more than squeeze with people. i abhor crowds.

Anonymous said...

Times like this I am so glad I am single :p

Anonymous said...

very comical description of what happen at the fair. Hmmm...are those conversation 1234 for real or you made them up?

eStee said...

daphne: Yea they made me laugh real bad too, which kinda brightened up my dreary day and made lining up and squeezing with other a bit more tolerable!

arzhou: something's gotta give huh? No such thing as a free lunch

bypassing: they were real; but I just really exergerated them..

Anonymous said...

And I tot they were giving out free cash // food when i walked passed the area!!!

I swore i spotted one or two guys in the queue as well.

eStee said...

crispyfries: Yes there were men there! Only cuz they have gfs! Hey then again, if you think free money, why didn't you line up?

Anonymous said...

Yah lah, conversation like this do take place. Haha...i know of guys who will quene up on this for their own use...and damn chio lor (erm in their alter ego...)

eStee said...

bypassing: metrosexual men are aplenty nowadays

Anonymous said...

Hmm, when u said metrosexual, do u refer to as Beckham, Bradpitt, Ryan Seacrest, Bae Yong Jun kind? Ya, those are alot nowadays. Hehe, i refering to sg guys in dress with cleavage( till now still no idea how they manage to squeeze them out of no where...and no, not those changi village kind) Lastly, i do not discriminal them.

eStee said...

by passing:
Beckham: semi metrosexual
Bradpitt: not metrosexual at all
Ryan Seacrest: super metro
Bae Yong Jun: who's this?

Anonymous said...

lol seems like you have a knack for overhearing/remembering funny conversations. gg.

eStee said...

tj: I'm just kaypo

Anonymous said...

Bae Yong don't who that is? He's Bae Yong Joon, aka Yonsama! He's very good looking. I woudn't consider him metro but to each their own.

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