Sometimes, we say the wrong words, at the right time. Sometimes, it's the right words at the wrong time. Whatever it is, things just fall apart.
I remember falling out with my ex-best friend in secondary school. Thinking about it makes me sad, but like I said, sometimes after things have been said and done, we reach a point of no return..
It's sad story, but I guess maybe there is something I can take home from it. The only fear is that it will happen again, and happen unknowingly...
Best friend X was dating a guy about 17 years older than her. He had a child almost about her age. It was hard for me to fathom, as a 15 year old young secondary school girl, which could be why I handled the situation so badly.
We were going to hang out one weekend with another girlfriend of ours and friend X wanted to bring her boyfriend along. I wasn't too happy about it and thought that it would be a nice girls outing, and wasn't comfortable with him along.
I guess the way I put it came across very harshly, I don't remember the words I said per se, but it was something to the effect of "I don't think we want him along". I guess I was insensitive because it sent across the wrong message that I was not being supportive and it was taken to be mean and cold.
I don't remember what I was thinking at that time, just that I didn't want him along - period. Friend X said that we knew that it was the only time she could go out with him (without her mother snooping?) and I guess she truly cared for us to know the person she was seeing.
Thinking back, I don't know how I could have made the situation better. Maybe it was an accident waiting to happen. Perhaps I could have been more sensitive. I was 15 years old, and then and there I experience my first break down in friendship. I had lost my best friend. I don't recall what happened after but I knew things were never the same again. I was hurt and I remember crying over it several times (but never letting her know). My beautiful bubble had burst, and I didn't know how to mend things.
What could have I done differently to right things? All the what ifs and whys... I try not to think about it much, but some morning it creeps back to me. it's been 9 years since it happens, but once a while I remember friend X and I'm filled with regret, but am equally confused.
What could I have done differently? Who can help me turn back time?
