If I could say this to your face, I would

I am a coward, the words won't come out of my mouth, although copious amount flow like river from the base of my heart and soul...



"If you wanna leave then just go, cuz I can't get no sun in your shadow
If you ain't gonna love me or find me, then I'm gonna turn the other cheek and go"

"Cuz everytime I push you hold me just close enough to keep me here,
So pull your anchor up and head to shore or sail away...
If you want to leave, then just go...."

***

It's funny how nature reverses itself at times. Jaren used to call me about his girl problems, I used to spend too many hours with him over the phone plotting how to win over his "chick of the moment". Never once did I go to him for advice, because I always saw him as my "xiao didi" although he is 31 this year? How can I trust advice from someone whom can't even decide if he wants to text a girl and spends hours scripting out what a potential phone conversation would be? No, that's so wrong.

But yesterday, I saw a side of him I had never seen before. And he was brutally honest with his advice to me, that I had to LOL at him. Is this the Jaren I've known all my life, but never "exploited" his wealth of knowledge ever?

He left me with 2 sentences which hit home.

1) Estee, don't waste your time, or mine.
2) You're better off staying home, watching TV and eating chocolate

My, my, hasn't he grown up? From the "ONS rocks" guy I always thought him to be, to the "there's more I need to a girl that a beautiful face"... Have the tides turned? Is this a function of his age? Or is this just a passing phase? We'll see...