Put up the wall

I need to put up that wall again, immediately. Don't crumble.

***

My mother asked me if Ming and I could have the chance is making it work once more. And also yesterday, I received a formspring question on whether I saw a chance of us getting back together because this person thought we complemented each other.

It's very hard to verbalize what caused the demise of the relationship -- there were many factors, but one major one which I cannot say. All I know is during the 4 years together, he made me very happy. I almost don't even remember us fighting a lot, or even ever.

I pray God blesses him in whatever he does - he has a heart of gold.

Tomorrow, 27th Sept, if we had survived, we would have made it past the 4 year mark.

Ming, where ever you are, you probably don't remember the date, I know you are terrible at dates, probably don't remember, but I wish you all the best :)

***

I have decided that I will not blog about J so often now. When ever I do, it makes me strong and weak at the same time. Strong because I dare to share, weak because I relive a lot of memories. I think I have learnt some things over this weekend, which I need to sit down, digest and put into practice. I keep thinking I've learnt something, but keep getting confused with whatever it is I have learnt -- does that make sense? I really am in the process of learning and relearning. I need to be as nimble as possible, my time is running out. I don't want to snap. I just want peace and to be happy. Please?

***

And so my "lover" might come with me to KL tomorrow, we'll see!