This KL Trip has been awesome for me. I have decided to extend my stay until Friday evening because I am just so productive!
I have been able to complete so much in such a short period of time, I thank God for his mercies upon my life!
This blog is slowly turning from very sad entries, to ones which are bubbling with excitement and the goodness of God. Oh how blessed I am!
Last night I got back to hotel at 930PM and continued on this book I've been wanting to complete for some time. It's about A woman's high calling -- 10 essentials for Godly living. What a blessing this book has been. As I was devouring the book, there were so many principles jumping out at me! I could hardly contain it. There are many areas of my life that indeed need change. And I know this journey will not be a simple one, but I know it will be a fulfilling one.
Things have not been easy -- I have been trampled on, maligned, used, humiliated... many other things. But what I have learnt is that forgiveness is a constant journey, and a mental decision. You forgive the people who have wronged you, then on some days you grief, but then you repent again and forgive once more, until you feel nothing but peace. And that's my formula.
I read until about midnight and started to pen down very concrete goal for myself in 2012. Achievable, measureable goals. 12 of them -- not an easy feat but as I prayed over each one of them, I asked for discipline in my life, thoughts and actions.
Do you know that God has called us to be an encourager of others? That is one of a woman's high calling. And as I meditated on the word of God all alone in my room, I thought of Sally, my assistant manager. She has worked so hard and grown so much over the past 5 months we have worked together, she is a precious sister of Christ. I am blessed that God has put her in my team and as I write this, I feel goose bumps rise on my arms because indeed God has put me in this place to be the salt and light! How honoured to be called for a season such as this!
God impressed upon my heart a verse for her and moments after she had received it, she texts me back to tell me she was just feeling troubled and that God was speaking to her through me! How amazing, to be used by the King! I know she has her own personal struggles, but I pray God's window of heaven will be open upon her life, that she will be able to commit her worries to Him, just as I have!
And also, I send a short text to Uncle Joseph to encourage him. How he must miss Auntie Janice! How I long to see her again, and I know we surely will meet in heaven one day.
I text my sister to also share with her thoughts about living and we make a mutual commitment to take mom and dad out for family dinner once a week. I admit, I have been too caught up in my own life, my own friends to have done that. I have been selfish, too engulfed in the sadness of my past to look at what I have in my palms now -- the most amazing parents who pray for protection over Esther and I daily. Truly, the one reason why we are still so blessed is because my parents have sowed prayers seeds into our lives! I cannot thank God enough for such an amazing family!
My heart is bubbling with gratitude; with amazement and at wonder at how my life has transformed. God has been so gracious in my life, he has started a good work in me, healed my scars and lifted me up. Just a few mornings ago, when I found out Ming was attached, I cried for a whole hour -- and perhaps it was because I knew that forever I had lost him. But also from the tears, I prayed for him to be happy, and that his life will be blessed.
As I sit in during lunch hour and reflect -- I have come a long way and only in brokenness can God come and rebuild a person, only in despair can God lift you up, only when you are in total surrender, can he mould you to be the person He wants. And I just want to be in His presence forever, indeed, it is nothing short of amazing.
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.