Discipline is hard. It's hard to keep to something when there are many distractions.
I don't mean this to anything/anyone in particular, but it sure is hard to stick to a commitment.
My mind wonders sporadically at the what ifs of life, but everytime they surface, I cast them out -- I cannot allow them to linger for more than a few moments, lest I slip back into old thoughts and ways.
My blog has been so therapeutic for me; it has helped me sort out my thoughts, purge sadness from my life, help me to move on to a different phase.
If not for my job, I think my mind would have gone bust from overthinking every avenue of my life. How thank God for giving me assignments and projects to keep my mind from wandering off into the unknown.
As 2012 draws near, I busy myself with work and buying christmas gifts. And catching up with my good friends. I am excited at 2012, but also in that same vein, as much as I trust God, sometimes, I am nervous at what the future brings. I know God is the God of love and there is no fear in love, but admittedly sometimes I slip into anxiousness. I am afraid that 2012 will bear the same tears of 2011 did.
I look through my prayer journal, I have come too far to look back, and I pray continually for God's strength for 2012.
I pray that I will continue to keep the faith, that my thoughts will not waver. Though it must be and is true that many a times I have put myself in situations where I have opened myself to feeling vulnerable. And it has to stop. NOW.