I always thought 2011 was the worst year in my life, but let me say again the 2014 has beaten it. 2014 has been the worst year to date, in every area of my life. And my heart is sick. This year I have been deceived, tricked, lied to, manipulated, trampled upon by injustice. And I feel helpless. And angry at myself for allowinf myself to walk down this path. I should have known. I had ignored the signs.
But through this journey of pain, God is teaching me many new things. He is teaching me not to put my hope in man, but only in Christ. And it is easy to tumble into a spiral of self pity and bitterness, but I CHOOSE to not go there. I choose to walk away from the pit of death, I shall not partner with the devil and his plans to push me into the pits.
Although I can't see the future and it seems somewhat hopeless, there is a voice inside which says I need to arise. I need to learn to trust again. I need to learn to dream again, and although I don't know how and what to do, I am completely reliant on God. Show me Your ways...
God, you are my justice bearer, you vindicate me. You know my heart, my life. You know my character, integrity and values. I give you the right to pick at them if anything grieves You. Vengeance is not mine, Dad -- it's Yours. Teach me how to forgive daily, to love daily and let hope arise.
It is difficult, but You hold my hand. And will never let me go. One day, I will look back and know that God only has the best plans, better than what my feeble mind can ever fathom. God, You take control. I'm YOURS.
//F.O.R.E.V.E.R //&// A//D.A.Y//