Learning to trust again

I always thought 2011 was the worst year in my life, but let me say again the 2014 has beaten it. 2014 has been the worst year to date, in every area of my life. And my heart is sick. This year I have been deceived, tricked, lied to, manipulated, trampled upon by injustice. And I feel helpless. And angry at myself for allowinf myself to walk down this path. I should have known. I had ignored the signs.

But through this journey of pain, God is teaching me many new things. He is teaching me not to put my hope in man, but only in Christ. And it is easy to tumble into a spiral of self pity and bitterness, but I CHOOSE to not go there. I choose to walk away from the pit of death, I shall not partner with the devil and his plans to push me into the pits.

Although I can't see the future and it seems somewhat hopeless, there is a voice inside which says I need to arise. I need to learn to trust again. I need to learn to dream again, and although I don't know how and what to do, I am completely reliant on God. Show me Your ways...

God, you are my justice bearer, you vindicate me. You know my heart, my life. You know my character, integrity and values. I give you the right to pick at them if anything grieves You.  Vengeance is not mine, Dad -- it's Yours. Teach me how to forgive daily, to love daily and let hope arise.

It is difficult, but You hold my hand. And will never let me go. One day, I will look back and know that God only has the best plans, better than what my feeble mind can ever fathom. God, You take control. I'm YOURS.

//F.O.R.E.V.E.R //&// A//D.A.Y//


Anonymous said...

God loves you wide and deep. Get into the Word and be refreshed.

You can try signing up a free acc at www.bethel.tv and listen to the latest Sunday Am sermon by Ps Bill Johnson titled Eternal Hope.

Be blessed.

eStee said...

ive listened to it! Its amazing!!

Anonymous said...

That plant that grew flowers by Ps Bill Johnson (extracted from sermon titled Eternal Hope)

When I moved to Rivervale, I took a plant with me, this little plant that is in my office here in Redding. And it’s one of those plants that stood straight up the air and few leaves. And I like it; it was added to my office and added a certain sense of life. I have no green thumbs, no green anything. But this plant liked me.

And I was praying in my office one day. And the Lord spoke clearly to me. He said, “You see that plant?”

I looked at that plant.

“That’s you.”

And in two weeks, all the leaves have fallen off. I’m serious; all the leaves have fallen off. And there was a stick, this stem that stuck right up the ground. I don’t want to throw it away because that’s me (laughter). I’m serious.

“Oh no, what has happened to me?”

And here is a season I was just being stripped.

“Oh no, this is me!”

And pretty soon this green stem that lost its leaves turned brown. And it died. And right next to it another stem came up.

I thought, “Oh, I’m alive.”

This stem that grew out of the ground, twisted, and down over the side. It was so distorted I thought, “That’s me?”

“How come? Why is that me?”

But it was alive, it was alive.

I was happy it was alive. And I watched this plant grow for so many years. Actually I had it for 18 years. I watched this plant go through different seasons and then with another sprout and finally it became a very nice plant.

Before coming to Redding I thought I should transplant that thing because it had been in the same pot for 18 years it might be root bound, I don’t know.

I lifted it out of its pot and put it in another one and it reeked of coffee because that’s all I watered it with. It was coffee. I didn’t water it with water. I only water it with coffee. When my coffee got cold, I poured it in the plant. When I was gone for four to five days, it never got watered. It just learnt to live on coffee.

When I transferred it, my office smelled of years of coffee. This plant had been marinating in coffee.

As soon as I transplanted this plant to a new pot to come to Redding, it grew flowers.

Some of you are root bound to your ways of thinking. And the life of hope is about to flourish as He gives you a different context for you to think.

There are things in you that you never thought were there. I had no clue that this plant could grow flowers. I was shock.

“That’s me too.”

“I endured the stick. Now I get flowers. Awesome!”

I don’t know what it means but it’s better than a stick.

So Father I do pray for that. The real sense of revelation of hope - revelation of hope, revelation of eternity.

The revelation that says, “If you gave us your son, how much more would you not fully cover every other issue of life. So out of thankfulness we acknowledge that payment has been made in full and we give you thanks and praise. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

- End -

P.S Catch hold of this prophetic illustration and see it come to pass in time to come, most likely years. Be blessed.

eStee said...

So good I'm claiming it for myself