WHY some guys BOHJEE : 9eek 9oddess' Theory

For my readers who have already read this post, Ian wrote a rebuttal to this post.

Click HERE to read. If you haven't yet read this post of mine, please read it...


I recently wrote an entry about the sad breakdown of my 1st relationship... which really changed my way of seeing the world. One of my readers commented on it and I would like to give my theory of...

WHY GUYS NEED TO ACT MACHO

So we hear of guys up and leaving their long time gfs for some short whirlwind relationship with some TRAMP.... and we wonder how someone can give up something they took so long to establish. Perhaps they were bored? I don't know, and I can never know. But that's a story for another day.

An anonymous reader commented in my previous post and I quote:

"Hello estee, I am an occasional follower of your thread, and I couldn't help but share some thoughts with you. You know something? A few days ago, I was catching up with some guy pals, and they said the most insensitive things in my presence, perhaps they thought that a girl who's just 'one of the guys' wouldn't mind. One of the guys commented that his female friend just broke up. This other MCP started the ball rolling by saying that

"You don't know meh? Alot of guys just to have a f**k buddy, you think they really want to stick with their girlfriends faithfully forever meh? Don't be silly lah, s'pore guys won't settle down with the last fling until they reach 35. And never get those clingy GFs, they will commit suicide if you dump them, just get one that you can f**k and dump, who cares about commitment?"

estee, you tell me...very painful to hear right? I suspect alot of guys are like this, well, at least those who look 'passable'. the other option would be the CMI geeks. Tell me, what is a girl to do in sg? How to find a good guy who doesn't have the intention to f**k and dump?...sigh...

I was extremely flabbergasted by the above sentence, which i put in BOLD...

I believe that the kind of guy who say this can be simply categorized into 2 groups. I will follow to dispense my own theory... which might offend many guys, or you might think it to be myopic, but if you want to argue with it, go write another blog post of your own -- I didn't force you to read mine.

Of course there is another group who will not have the audacity to say such a thing aloud, but still are not willing to commit. These guys are OK in my books, because, you have to give it to them, they have the choice of waiting for the one or looking hard until they are sure. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Back to the above mentioned statement, the 2 groups of guys are...


1. The ones that really mean it

A guy who has said the following comment could really sincerely mean it. Now let's not call him a hypocrite and give him the benefit of the doubt.

What crosses the line for me is the fact that he outrightly says this, in front of his friends.

These dudes truly do not believe in commitment. Because they think they are at the upperhand (which I might admit in most relationship, a girl looses out more), they see themselves as invincible and have the genetically endowed right to play (read: chop off his dick pls!).

These punks, can be further subgrouped into being

a) Very young and immature

I believe that a truly mature guy will not even say or think this. Why, you ask? Because a relationship is based on trust and is mutual. It is not about one person taking advantage of another or fighting to get the upperhand, or seeing who loves who more.

Please give me a break.

If you think you want to dwindle your youth away being a player until you are finally "forced" to commit to one person because your time is up, then I'm sorry hunnybuns, all the best fishes will be taken up and u will be left with not much selection. Then you can start envying your other guys friends who managed to snag their chicks from young and build up a REAL relationship.

Either that, you will find that girls aren't stupid. We actually learn. If we know a guy has had a string of relationship and all of them have ended with him being unfaithful, why the hoot will we want to trust you and start anything with you? Despite that glib of a gap you have, we have much more of a brain than the puny size of your dick.

Conclusion: The guy ends up old and lonely, or if he finally commits when he reaches a ripe old age, it'll be the story of Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall. If you aren't rich when you are old, you can forget about getting some boobs. Yea, you get my drift yea?


b) Jaded

I don't exactly blame a jaded guy for saying this. In fact I want to take him in my bosom, hold him and hug him, while telling him everything will be alright. PUI, PUI, PUI!

But really, these boys (yes I use the word boys, argh perhaps I'm too harsh) probably have been dumped before by some gorgeous girl, whom they thought was the one (and obviously never deserved at all) and left broken to bleed on the shards of glass on his bed of broken love..

Yeap, these guys are in denial, and they "fool" themselves into believing that playing around will prevent them from getting their oh so sorry hearts broken.

Please give me a break.

Conclusion: The guy ends up old and lonely, or if he finally commits when he reaches a ripe old age, it'll be the story of Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall. If you aren't rich when you are old, you can forget about getting some boobs. Yea, you get my drift yea?


c) Never loved before

This is the 3rd subgroup. But I don't really blame them because they have never known what real love is before. They possibly might have been together with a girl before, but never really experienced what being in a REAL relationship is like. Because of their lack of experience in this arena, they "cover" up this insecurity and excuse the fact, or convince themselves, for that matter that single is good, because they can play.

This group is an exception, because I really feel that once they have experience love with someone else, their mindset will change. They only feel this way temporarily and it is born out of pure inexperience.

Conclusion: You never know love until you actually fall in it. Yeap, you fall, you can't control it. You don't walk into love, you fall, and you can't help yourself.


2. Would never cheat on girlfriend

Now I come to the 2nd group of guys. The 2nd group who actually dares to say something like the quoted statement from my reader can only be described with one word.

BOH JEE

Yup, you heard me right. He ain't got no balls. The thing is that he already has a gf but is so freaking whipped and henpecked, that in front of her, he has no choice but to act submissive. Well, disclaimer here is that being submissive and being compromising and understanding are VERY different. One cannot be mistaken for the other please. (this will entail another blogpost... BAH)

This dude will have to pretend to be macho in front of his guy pals to "reclaim" his position in his friend's eyes. Perhaps they have long seen him as whipped and to bolster his own self esteem, he has to act out to convince those around him that he still has a shred of di(ck)nity left.

But seriously, he would never dare to cheat on his girlfriend.

Conclusion: BOHJEE guys' friends see through his act. They just ignore him because if they give him problem and his gf finds out, his gf will give this bohjee guy problem. Then his friends will have to find someway of bailing him out (again). Since they are friend enough, they "one ear in, one ear out"...


I don't know how accurate this theory is, but I thought it up on the fly on the way back from my exam hall yesterday. See, I waste all my brain cells to think this up instead of studying.... >_<

2 more papers to go!