10 WRONG reasons to GET MARRIED

I'd rather be stabbed in my eye with a 5 foot pole than get married at 24!!!!

@#$%^& I find 5 of my gfs getting married this year. All of them are 24. That freaks me out! It scares the shit out of me. 24 is the year of freedom, the year of self celebration! I question myself if its the "sour graped" me speaking and I guess, maybe I'm being very close minded. *knock knock* Just because I can't imagine myself walking down the aisle with my father "relieving" himself of his duty to take care of (and feed me), doesn't mean my friends haven't reached that mental maturity....

Here I dispense top 10 reasons you should not use to get married

1) All my friends are getting married, it must be my cue...
Wake up your idea, girlfriend! Who cares if your friends are getting married!??! This is a once in a lifetime thing, so if you haven't found that special someone, don't rush.... as Phua Chu Kang says it best, DON'T PWAY PWAY!!!!

2) I better get married before my and my bf's income exceeds $8K (cannot ballot for HDB flat anymore!!!!!)
Honey, if you marry the wrong person, the procedures for signing the divorce/annulment papers will set you back a couple of wedding rings.

3) I want to live away from my parents.
Yeap, living away from your parents and "feeding" yourself probably means, welcome to your new life of lifelong mortgages and an unending stream of debts (think weter, electricity, car, furniture installments).

Yes, THINK AGAIN. Do you really wanna get weaned off your parents???

4) If I tie my bf down then he won't cheat on me anymore (if he already is or has not yet)
Girls, men don't change after marriage. If they do, it's NEVER for the better. Shackling them down means shackling yourself down. Why settle?

5) Doesn't matter if divorce, I get 50% anyway
Yeah, just that if you do get divorced, the chances of you finding another man that's eligible and willing to overlook that is 50% also.... (not saying that all divorced women are bad, depends on situations right?)

6) I can have parental consent for "premarital sex"
Yeap, you've just signed your own consent form to being the lifelong "slave" of a testosterone molecule oozing of ego. Yeap, you also have consented to, like I said paying all your bills yourself, washing your husband's underwear, washing the house, washing the floor, ironing a mountain of clothes, cooking dinner and meals for 2 people.

7) No more excuse or disapproval to stay overnight at his place
R you dumb or R u dumb? Would you give up 2 houses for 1?

8) Sounds fun! Never tried it before! I'm adventurous! Plus it come with a free diamond ring!!!
Yup, if you like adventure so much, go live in the Alcatraz. Free diamond ring? More like your payment to sell yourself to slavery.

9) I can be a tai tai and talk cock sing, song and play mahjong all day long!
Wat to talk cock? Go find the ah peks at the coffeeshop, wanna play mahjong, come find me, want to sing song ... go Kbox can? More worth it...

Life AFTER marriage?

10) I want a baby as a pet!
I'm sure you do. I mean all you have to do for this new pet is wake up every 2 hours to let him nibble on your tits, wipe it's shit filled stinky ass and burp spoilt milk in your face. Y not?

Anyways, the above was said in jest, nothing meant to demean the married or make fun at the soon to be wed. Apologize if I offend anyone... just something I thought would give singles a pretty good laugh....