330AM Victim vs. Victor

Its 330am now -- I have just gotten back from ECP. It's amazing, sitting on the bench, breeze against one's face, with a dear friend. I love heart to heart sessions.

As we walked along ECP, Dork with her bike pulled along, I felt as if there was so much more to live for. Why confine myself and cramp my style?

Somehow when life hands me lemons, God always beings someone into my life to make everything OK. I missed Anthony's call and God provides me another lifeline in the form of Dorcas. I can talk to this girl about anything under the sun. And you know what, beneath that tough exterior, she is exactly like me -- jello.

So I guess everyone, in some way or another, builds up walls around them, to protect them from hurt and to keep them from feeling vulnerable. Even someone who seems as strong as Dorcas does something like that. So then I mustn't be that bad after all.


I picked my parents up from the airport today from their flight back from Korea, I was happy to see them. Somehow although I'm hardly in Singapore, the home is a lot quieter (and messier) without them.


I think that cheating is the worst thing one can do to a partner. It's complete betrayal of trust -- it's travesty! Sometimes I wonder how one can have the moral conscience of cheating on a partner, it's just inconceivable to me. But J told me that in Asia, it is common and acceptable for men to cheat. Why didn't it click then? But it's no point confronting anymore... what;s done is done...


Gerri was so sweet to write me and email today. I told her that until I meet a real good guy, I'm going to be as happy as happy can be -- because there are 1001 things to celebrate in this life, I shan't waste a moment wallowing. Her reply comes in and brings a smile to my face. She is the cutest thing, so girl power right?? :) My friends are my ROCK. I might not completely agree with her, I think no man is an island and really, sometimes you need to give of yourself first to get back love in return -- r u willing to risk it though?

"Er... NO!

You are gonna be as happy as you can be guy OR not!

Estee! You are your own person. I know you would love a great guy and set up a perfect family, but you need to understand that you a COMPLETE, amazing human being on your own! Perfectly capable of the greatest happiness and the lowest lows ..

A guy may make you happy, estee, but he may not. Your happiness is very much determined by who you ARE, how you live your life and what you do with the choice and free will that we are so, very privileged to have.. ..AND FROM WHAT I’VE SEEN, YOU ARE DOING A ONE HELLUVA KICK-ASS JOB.

Then whichever guy comes along and sweeps you off your feet, they are sweeping you WHOLE. 100% estee. He might make you Estee Squared. But you are Estee- full and complete on your own, guy or not…in fact. You are SPECIAL.

I will write a longer letter but have to rush some work – will def be camping here.

I will tell you when I see you. I need to impress upon you the hard truths of life – which is that you already rock. Solo."


I can't wait for this weekend, let's just say I'm gonna rock it for what it's worth! Can't hardly waaaiiittt!!! :) Let's just say I love eye candy!

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